ginachurchwell1970

In 8 days my baby will be 25 in Earth Years. The last 2 years I have mostly hid in my bed and waited for the day to pass. I want to (try) be different this year. This is the anniversary of the best...

Besides the unbearable grief I have been consumed with anger. Mostly at my father's side of the family. My stepmother never wanted me around and did a number on my self-esteem which carried through...

So tired...sigh...2 1/2 years on and still suffering terribly. I just want to be with Cassi.

It has come to my attention that I have been avoiding things the last few months and I am confused as to if this is a good thing or a bad thing.I don't go into Cassi's room, I don't go into the spare...

I am so grateful for my little dog Apollo. In every way except literally he is truly a son to me and my husband. We may not have conceived him, but we love him like we did.Almost 10 years ago Cassi...

Maybe it's just me, but Sundays have always been sad, lonely days, even before I lost Cassi on a Sunday. Not sure why, but they have always given me the blues.Today is another hollow-day rather than...

I have been reading a new book called "My First Christmas" by Cat Gray. I kept seeing posts about it over and over again on my Facebook feed so I ordered it. I do recommend it, but you need to be in...

I have some things I want to express and this is the only place I feel safe to do it. It certainly won't make me look like an angel, but here goes...I see so many photos of small children and...

So, for the 4th time this year I have come down with an outbreak of shingles. I had my first outbreak when I was 20 years old and several times during the years but never this much. Only 4% of the...

I read an article the other day about the grief journey. It said that even when you are feeling like you are backing up it is all part of it and you are still progressing. it's just part of the...

I haven't seen anyone do this in a while but I am going to try this today, start the week with thoughts of gratitude...one thing that was almost always worrisome when we were younger was money, or...

I always put Cassi at the center of my life and made her friends my friends. I am so lonely without her and her friends running in and out. To make it even worse nearly all of my friends seem to have...

I was on such a high the first of the week, then the storm clouds moved in. I have cried so much today...getting ahead of myself, forgetting to live this journey one day at a time.I let my worries...

I made it through another Mother's Day and it was the easiest so far. I hope everyone else made it okay. We were in Tennessee visiting my in-laws. For various reasons, it is not as physically...

I know this terrible journey is often compared to a rollercoaster, but it seems like I have bee going downhill for quite a while now. I just can't figure out how to go on...or why. Cassi was my life...