Sunday
Maybe it's just me, but Sundays have always been sad, lonely days, even before I lost Cassi on a Sunday. Not sure why, but they have always given me the blues.
Today is another hollow-day rather than holiday for me. I have been estranged from my own father ever since Cassi died. When I needed him the most he decided to support his wife who didn't approve of how I had Cassi dressed and they neither offered support or even attended the funeral. It was the final straw from years of mistreatment of me and my older sister from a wicked step-mother who didn't want us in the picture anyway. Needless to say, things dissolved quickly and unfortunately now I have only hatred in my heart for them both, especially him. So seeing all the Happy Father's Day posts are sad but then most "hollow-days" are sad, at least for me they are.
Also, Sadly I cannot even wish my husband a Happy Father's Day, it feels like pretending, fake.. I am sorry for him. I know he is hurting in his own way, but since he doesn't show it I have no idea how to reach him. It's a lonely feeling for me and probably for him as well. The best I can do, and have done is to tell him that I love him.
Tomorrow is Smiley Monday...I am happy that my mood will most likely change as I am thinking about what I have to be grateful for. What a wonderful idea and gift it was from Barbara.
Writing in my journal always helps, expressing my feelings. Thank you for reading.
Love,
Gina
Today is another hollow-day rather than holiday for me. I have been estranged from my own father ever since Cassi died. When I needed him the most he decided to support his wife who didn't approve of how I had Cassi dressed and they neither offered support or even attended the funeral. It was the final straw from years of mistreatment of me and my older sister from a wicked step-mother who didn't want us in the picture anyway. Needless to say, things dissolved quickly and unfortunately now I have only hatred in my heart for them both, especially him. So seeing all the Happy Father's Day posts are sad but then most "hollow-days" are sad, at least for me they are.
Also, Sadly I cannot even wish my husband a Happy Father's Day, it feels like pretending, fake.. I am sorry for him. I know he is hurting in his own way, but since he doesn't show it I have no idea how to reach him. It's a lonely feeling for me and probably for him as well. The best I can do, and have done is to tell him that I love him.
Tomorrow is Smiley Monday...I am happy that my mood will most likely change as I am thinking about what I have to be grateful for. What a wonderful idea and gift it was from Barbara.
Writing in my journal always helps, expressing my feelings. Thank you for reading.
Love,
Gina
Replies
Fathers Day and Mothers Day are crap days for me. Even though I am fortunate to have a loving son, there is something about daughters. Lisa was the one who made a big deal of special occasions. There is just a gap now.
Tight hugs, M
Understand the gap...that is what keeps me sane...being close to Desiree and the gkids.
But I sure miss my son in Washington..He just left us from a visit and I cried all day...so did Desiree.
And Daren...oh geez. He was my holiday kid...every holiday was a big deal...he loved most of them--especially if there was food involved...I miss that terribly...Desiree is ba-humbug as well as Dustin--pretty sure it started after Daren\'s passing...just not the same...buy who is?
Love you,
Ann
This year hubby did not care about Fathers Day. My daughter forgot till I asked her if she wanted to go out and eat. My hubby did not want to go but I told him we are going.
The grand kids must have sprinkled pixi dust on him and danced to get him to go. We did have good meal but after we got home everything went back to bah humbug.
Sending tight hugs
Penny