AnxietyFreak40
Status: People in toxic relationships don’t love each other. They love the idea of each other. ~Mark Manson
Mood:
Ok
Offline
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Today Sarah graduates from high school. They limit the number of tickets the family can have now so I had already said I would give up my place so someone else could go. I told her I was proud of...
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I'm very sad today. I know that I must not have meant anything to that young man for him to have treated me the way that he did. I had been alone for so very long. Living with Steve, I had turned...
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It's been 148 days since I had a smoke. Really want one on and off lately but knowing it will make me sick keeps me from buying any. I'm already sick. Tired of the nausea and carrying this big...
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I have been trying to get to the bottom of why I have been in such a panic. I know that it's more than just things being up in the air. i think I have abandonment issues. I'm not sure that is...
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I am really at a loss as to why I am having so much panic. It's not like I haven't spent a lot of time alone before. Maybe it is just the finality of it all. I just can't seem to get past this...
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I have a little bit of calm now. I talked with my friend Kristi. I guess I just really needed someone to tell me it was all going to be alright. I reached out again to that friend who said he...
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I woke up and for a moment it was alright. Then I fel the panic seep into my body. I tried to go back to sleep but it won't let me. I am so filled with panic and anxiety-AGAIN. There is...
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it's hard to believe the body can maintain this level of panic. I am trying to go to that numb place where nothing and no one can touch me but I am having a hard time getting there. I have...
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I can't breathe...how did I get here??? This was not supposed to happen anymore..I had this all walled off. Why did I have to go and try and change things?? I am so stupid!!!!
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Panic is super high today. can't breathe...feels like I am going to throw up. I knew that my friend was holding me up a good portion of the day. It is one thing to know it and another to have...
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I got my car back yesterday. It's all shiny and pretty again...till the next fucker takes a swipe at me. As I was picking up the car, Steve text me and said he was staying in the bay last...
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Tuesday night after I got home he said he wanted to talk. He told me that he had met someone and that this person was not comfortable dating until I was out of the house...so I just needed to get...
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I haven't felt able to journal lately...I'm not sure why..the words just don't seem to come out. I keep bouncing around between so many different emotions that I don't know which way is up. This...
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Things have calmed a little at the house. At least we are being civil. the rental market here is such that I have no hope of finding a place I can afford to go. I am not sure what I am going to...
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Life sucks and then you are still stuck here. Why can't I just die? I just want to lay down and be done with this world. I am so tired of the conflict at home. I don't know how long I can keep...
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