down the rabbit hole

Life sucks and then you are still stuck here.  Why can't I just die?  I just want to lay down and be done with this world.  I am so tired of the conflict at home. I don't know how long I can keep this up and have no hope of finding any place to go.  I have no concentration at all and am barely functioning at work. 

it's been 129 days since I had a smoke.