a little bit of calm

I have a little bit of calm now.  I talked with my friend Kristi.  I guess I just really needed someone to tell me it was all going to be alright.  I reached out again to that friend who said he would be there for me.  He said I was crazy and codependent.  I said...I don't think this was codependency..you said you weren't going anywhere and that you would be there for me and then you suddenly took away that support.  My mistake was believing in it.  I will not bother him again with my trivial panic or anything else for that matter.  To me friendship is a two way street.  I know I am not always the best with keeping up with people...I just reached out to someone from here yesterday that I had not talked to in months.  I expected him to tell me to get lost but he also took the time to help me get calm yesterday.  I hope that I learn enough from this to be more aware and help others when they are in this bad of shape.  If you reach out to me and I don't immediately get it...feel free to slap me upside the head. 

This afternoon, I am so thankful for my friend Kristi.  She is having a super busy day with a combined birthday party and still took the time to call me and say..hey..calm down..everything is just fine and I got your back.  She invited me to come to the party ...I really wanted to get out of the house for a while but I am afraid that I will break down crying again and it's a family function so not sure I should go.