Bitter nothings

Today Sarah graduates from high school. They limit the number of tickets the family can have now so I had already said I would give up my place so someone else could go.  I told her I was proud of her whether I was there or not.  Apparently there was a family lunch..that since I am no longer part of, I was not invited. 

Fine, whatever.

The company finally gave me an answer...no discounts for any employees, period. I am probably going to take this unit at full price and hope I can get a roommate or transfer to a smaller unit later. I hate him for being in this position and I hate myself more for starting down this path.  I had a secure home..I could have just kept my head down.  Now I will probably have to get a second job just to try and keep a roof over my head. 

The problem is I just don't care anymore.  I'm not gonna make it through this.  15 years of living here and i have absolutely no one and nothing.  Those kids that I helped raise couldn't give a shit if I live or die.  I am so sick of this life and all the pain of  living in it.  WhY?????  Why does it have to be sooo hard???