malibumark

i can't sleep tonight. Having a lot of mental turmoil.It's hard to keep a good integrity about things because my mind changes so muchand it's hard to keep up with the changes. So I am focusing on my...

I get so lost in appeasing my appetites. I don't seem to thinkof looking outside of it (under the water line) to do much morethan: eat, drink and keep glued to the TV. I need some stiffener...

I flirt with going my own direction at times in terms of career and work but it seems I am very fearful of relyingon my own faculty to carry me through and support me in this kind of effort... and so...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KNEUtN21cuU

The vicissitudes of the day. Seeing the peaks and valleys and the mess and unmess of my mind...holding outfor the good moments. I find I am learning and leaning towards wanting a 'just mine'...

it seems that I can come to a place of peace and then an undermining thoughtwill kick in, the struggle and fight and anguish within me. It is very hard to live with this.I have been learning to look...

I don't know why - perhaps a chemical imbalance - I don't have that answer butwhat I am going to write about is that I have come to know that my mind manufactures upset.Whether it's the isolation...

This is only a little bemoaning that I am going to put down here and then put away and get on with the day.Yes my life is limited - I am limited but the sun is coming out and I can aim to work hard...

no complaints here!

I am here in my apartment. I have run out of things to do, so I am just kind of spilling the tea about my day.I don't know if it's important to give all the details but I kind of groove on that too...

I came home from work, and the transition to living life outside of workhad me reaching for god or some kind of idea that would help me find my footing.I realized that though and tried to just relax...

I live on my own and at times it's pretty hard. I feel like I ought to be ableto live on my own - and it's my choice to do it - but I guess rather than feel upsetor confused as to why I can't do it...

I have realized that in part I need to do what is right for me - and maybe notwhat the iconographic thing might dictate. I believe in ideals and standards butalso I have gone down a slippery slope in...

having this illness often leaves me feeling like I am at a deficitand my life's direction is up to others to decide and to make.My Dad though, very subtley keeps telling me my life is in my...

I guess if I ask me what I should do about this I might as well take a walk or do something physical.I came home today after work and parked myself on the couch. I thought about being social -...