malibumark

I don't know why but my mind has taken so many wrong turns today since being off workearlier this morning. I have tried to have insight and change my attitude and perspective.Now that I am writing...

it came to me today that much of my issues are based on the way I deal withand react to pain. It's pretty clear to me. Any kind of discomfort or even choicesit's pretty clear to me. I am just seeing...

I make a wrong turn mentally (that's what I call it), when I engage an idea or thought that totally wipes away my status quo. It's like my mind slips. I work very hard to find sanity - and then after...

I have come to realize, when I am not working or taking care of something, my mind works on me.I realize this is my nature, and I have had to come to terms with it.My boundary unchecked by a reasoned...

I am just getting ready to go to an appointment.I was thinking about my problems this morning, the future that liesahead. I thought of who to talk to this morning. Who I could commiserate...

When I come home from work, and I have nothing doing except for the responsibility of taking care of my charge (my brother's dog) it seriously has given me good insight into my days/life.I am not so...

I feel really great. Well, like great enough that I feel like I can step aside from maybe how my feelings are making thnk about myself and instead of 'buying into the head trip", I can decide to...

I am taking care of my brother's dog this week. It's given a suprising wonderful experience.She's filling my heart and soul. Having another being with me to care for is so wonderful.I had to do a lot...

I know I write a lot about my ideas and observations.I have so tried to be self responsible to get along in life...I have so submitted to truth in my life and not to any fantasy I might have.I have...

I cleaned my whole apartment today and then showered off and satin my living room enjoying the clean sense of things and perfumey smell.My parents are really encouraging me to get active, not just...

Some days, when on my own, nothing seems to make sense to me.It's like an existential awe..."What are we all doing?? in space and time."But then human connection.. connection with friends and loved...

I looked in the mirror today and saw an old man. It's weird how time catches up with youbut it does!! Yikes!! I put on some music and started to dance. I used to be an ok dancer in my youthand now I...

I don't want to complain - but I just have some thoughts that I want to share. I am having a hard time with my illness. At times my mind won't stop attacking me, badgering me or needling me. I have...

I went to work today, and my moods were all over the place. I felt empty, lacking value, weak and just kind of lost.But I had the presence of mind to just keep on with the tasks and I started to take...

I woke up this morning with no plan. A day off and nothing pressing. I had thought to go to the gymbut I decided to take a shower. I felt dirty and I don't like feeling dirty. Right before I started...