malibumark

I am trying to patch up the negativite sense of things in my life that I feel this morning. I feel gratefulthat you guys are all out there, having supported me in the past, which is a good...

The sun is just starting to go down. The light is slanting shadows and the apartment hasgone darker. I know what I have to look forward to tonight and I am grateful for it.Ate too much today and...

things are alright. I went to work today and now it's the start of my weekend.I was really exhausted at work and I was yesterday as well. Weird.I home now and I am enjoying an old movie on TCM. I...

I wrote this passage earlier:--------------where is this writing going? What do I want to achieve? Is it a kind of perfecting?Should I start to wish for survival and future pragmatic goals? Isn't...

I think taking care of my brother's dog may have something to do with it. But I feel likewhen I am home alone I need something or someone to make me feel important.When I am home alone and I do not...

I wrote this a moment ago, the thoughts here are helping me move forward:I think there is a side to me that would have made a good boyscoutI have been thinking about how I have been bereft of the...

Having Nina here, and being responsible for her has made me see how good it is to care about someone besides myself.It's really tiring sometimes, like following after a two year old, I would imagine...

woke up in the grossest mood. It's funny now that I think about it.. I am so glad I could get by with being non-verbal with Nina. Otherwise I think I might have snapped at someone. Trying to keep...

I am so lonely, at least I am realizing that. I am realizing that you can't like everything about somebodyand for some reason with that reality (shown on me too towards myself) - the veil of self...

I have had a fruitful couple of days...where I saw how my illness has colored my thoughts to a fear about 'getting out there.'They were guiding me to keep a sense of control about my life resulting...

The weirdness of today surprised me..I usually try to keep positive outside of work - a sense of control -I see it as an opportunity to live my real authentic life!  I try to keep up and orderly and...

I don't know what to do, I have ideas and observations - that capacity has been a lifeline to me in the past - and now maybe has become a bad habit - but right now, the intense pressure is building...

my brother, who has been staying with me, left a short while ago and he will be gone for a week or so.He left his dog, Nina, with me. It has been great having him here with me and it has really...

   “Don't dwell on what went wrong. Instead, focus on what to do next. Spend your energies on moving forward toward finding the answer.”― Denis Waitley 

getting through the day.. it is so weird how things go... up and downand seeking out someone to talk to. My mind can really indulge a bit intosad and whimpering territories but I am doing my best not...