went to a party last night

I went to a party last night. It was good to see my friends from High School,


but as I was talking to one friend's husband my hands and drink's glass started to shake.


Not sure why I was so scared.


I met some people who were nice and were glad to meet me - and some others who seemed


to be put off by me. 


Well, when I got home, the negativity I experienced seemed to weigh more in on my mind. 


It was hard to sleep. Finally I found my sense of value again.



Thinking back on it now, I think what the 'ef' I think we all have to deal with licking our wounds at times. I don't know


or haven't heard from others who have bad experiences like this. Social events or interactions that shake your sense of self 


and well being about yourself..but I guess I've got to just put it in a box, and leave it behind and focus


on the things and relationships that are doing well in my life. I am trying.... 


I also went to work today. I felt really lowly, perhaps as a residue of last night's event - but I am trying 


to just keep on keeping on. Make goals and then deal with the complex of emotions that come with the 


journey along the route of fulfilling them. I hear people talk about achievement but it's probably true


that along the way of manifesting those goals, there's a host of emotions coming at you from external sources


and also internal ones too. Just have to keep on keeping on. I am at home now and have to deal with my self.


I'll make lunch and then make a run to the pharmacy. Toujours L'amor. :)

Replies

Deckard
Deckard

Hang in there Mark, you are a nice, and considerate guy. I think you are sensitive to other peoples feelings. I think thats a good thing. Trying to put yourself in other people's shoes is always a good practice to have.
malibumark
malibumark

thanks Chris!
Community LeaderSunCloudJD
SunCloudJD

Big hug for you sweetie...… I absolutely have a social anxiety now.... I used to be a social butterfly however I basically stopped going out due to caregiving for several years and now socializing is really hard for me so I hear you

I agree with Chris.... You are a great guy...… Another hug......xo
beckyp
beckyp

I applaud you for having the guts to go to the party in the first place. Try not to let the negativity you felt from some of the people ruin the experience you had with the positive. I can surely relate to your feelings and you are a great guy and friend.
Deckard
Deckard

I agree with SunCloud....I can socialize with people too much face to face. As I got older I have become more inhibited. I know I don't look as good, physically..so I am self conscience.... I know that I could have a physical defect and look worse, but still I just find myself physically un attractive. So thats one reason why I don't socialize.....
malibumark
malibumark

thanks guys!