groovy Christmas from down to up!!

I was having a hard time. I think I am realizing what it means to be me. At one point in my life it was effortless to feel the sense of identity, I had felt liberated unaware almost of any reason to not feel pleasure in who I am. Now I have a patchwork memory of times when I felt happy and utter craziness but mostly now I am hanging on to the sense of illness that I have and the hard work that it takes to take care of myself. I don’t feel happy but mostly feel on the defensive, cautioning about life. Humble but maybe I could feel just grateful as well about the things that are good in my life.

Actually, I wrote the above earlier. I think in gratitude - I somehow found my fight back. I WILL take care of my life

and WILL fight forward regardless of past issues...Fight onward Macduff! :) Find pleasure in the fight!!