malibumark

i went to work today and felt a lot of paranoia and upset. I just felt like I wanted to end my life at times. But I kept on with the work, wishing I had a different life. I say this because I feel...

I am trying to grasp on to a sense of security. I am trying to take the perspective of meditation and gratitude.I just feel very alone, and I keep myself alone, but for some reason nothing seems to...

Since I don't have a common arc of life that I see out there, of 'significant other' relationships and happy families full of children and growing a career wherebenchmarks and achievements give a...

I have to start making plans for my time and set myself up for success during the week.I keep on thinking 'downtime' in front of the TV will do it for me - but it really doesn't. Maybea little bit...

i go and see my therapist shortly, I am really looking forward to it.I have some things I want to talk about... aspirations and hopes.I also feel as though I am kind of aware at how extreme and...

can’t sleep. So much aggression and go go energy. I don’t know how people do it and manage their lives. I feel I try all you guys’ patience with my stuff but I am so grateful for you all being...

I went to yoga today. Sunday is the day for the long rigorous class.I was mighty sleepy when it started but then it woke me up - and was a good exercise.I came back to my apartment, whereas usually I...

I went to work this morning. It went by as usual, got stuff done and then came home.Ate some food my Stepmom gave me and then put on the kettle and made a big pot ofcoffee. I decided to nap and then...

I went to work this morning and then came home and fixed a meal. Then went to therapy which was a nice time and nothing too difficult to discuss. I had a tough night last night and we talked about...

My illness makes my sense of identity change a lot and I know people can wonder what I am all about because it. There's an inconstancy.The past couple of days I have changed a lot - today at the...

learning a better way to deal with things. I came home from the office and did some errands and then went to the bakery to grab a coffee. Getting the coffee is pretty much a daily thing for me. The...

lots of pestering thoughts today while at work. I think the more independent I get in terms of healing, the old ugliness within me starts to raise its head again (like it’s being given license to...

It's a regular Monday here today. I took the car to be serviced first thing, and then went grocery shopping.Then came home and made lunch and then took a long nap. I've been on the phone for a couple...

I had a weird day. Yoga first thing this morning was ok, but then as I was leaving I had a weird interaction.I then went to my parents' house and just kind of melted into the background. I felt dark...

I have been thinking about 'managing my own expectations' today. I think when making a plan for the day or even when coping with a troubling moment - to step in and manage that thought really is...