malibumark

I went to sleep last night, thinking about coping to the feelings that I have versusthe way I should be..I don't know if that makes sense - but I can't always be in touchwith my feelings - but I also...

I saw my therapist yesterday online as is usual.I was really hyper and excited and I kind of just went with it - didn't worry too muchabout keeping orderly...I felt good, sort of, if a little...

it's the weekend now for me.I find myself super disciplined while at work - trying to be responsible - and on target with what I need to do. I've worked hard to be self responsible and to do an...

I had been struggling this morning while working at the market  - contemplating orhoping for some wisdom to shed it's light on my mental darkness.I kept going and yet I told myself, I had to tell...

I realize that I can really 'self castigate' when I am alone to fill a 'form' in order to know where I standin the world. It's something I really am learning to stop. I've been blind to it.Now I want...

had a miserable day at work - which was preceded earlier last night by a weird conversation on the phone..I know my mood shifts and changes..... and I have to create for myself a mechanism for whatI...

I got 'onto' my chores that I wrote about in my last journal.I then sat down on the couch - turned on the news - and thensat there, feet up, with my cat snoozing in my lap.At another time in my life...

not every feeling is nice, in fact at times there's really agressive feelingsand forceful feelings on my end - I know that sometimes accepting this mixture -and keeping outwardly moving forward in...

I've been having a growthful weekend. Feeling like I am aware of new things and also not letting certain feelings RULE my decision makingand personal activity.I went to my parents' house today and...

I know how to deal with stress at work...and work is going well...it seems like when I am not at work...then the ideas about the lackings in my life surface...if I want to effect change or...

I believe in god and I believe in prayer...though to be honest, when I haveprayed for things in my life, usually it would come to no avail and very oftenthe exact opposite of what I was hoping...

I have been having my ups and downs as you all have been witness to in my journals.I have to say that since getting BLUE (my cat), having him to think about has delivered me to the truththat no...

each day brings like a new set of software to it...i go to sleep in the evening and sometimes struggle to let goand let sleep happenand then this morning - I wake up and find myself feeling...

just been moody today - feeling anxiety - anger - tirednessand have no real solutions except for writing this postand focusing on friends.this too shall pass. i'm betting/hoping.