time on my hands
not much is going on today - but I am glad for it - stuff in the news is too crazy, scary and upsetting.
I went to work this morning. Came home... and got down on my hands and knees to play with Blue
as I do every day. I wash my hands first - but then I play with him. He always greets me at the top of the
stairs which is the entrance to my apartment. He's a super sweet fella. I want to be sure he knows that.
Today after playing with him, I made lunch (japanese vegetable fried rice from Trader Joe's) - I am a wiz
with the microwave! :) Then I hung around with the tv on and then showered and dressed and had therapy
at 11am. My therapist is so nice and a great help. I find myself feeling much better or able to
manage myself in a sense - even though I have auditory hallucinations at times - I am better able
to let the pass through - like I have a skillset or firmament to set aside or kind of ride the rollercoaster through.
Right now I have time on my hands. After therapy I went to the mailbox- then drove over to the Starbucks
and then to the bank - to save some money. Came back
and played with Blue. He does not like spending time alone - and he also likes me to shower him
with attention, and play and scratch and pet him - to entertain him - he's so much like a baby 2 year old.
But I realize 'tis the role of any parent - and he's a gift from heaven for sure. Makes me think and care about someone..
So, I balanced my checkbook, recorded my purchases in a ledger
and then watched part of Antiques Roadshow. Blue has been really restless today - and needing lots of attention - and playtime....he wanted food early too - but he's got a 'cat beer belly' too now and I think
he eats when he's bored - so I kept him busy ...and then... I waited to feed him until 2p - I also feed him when I get up at 3am.
So here I am at the computer...time on my hands - and I find I have needs that and I know everyone
has to deal with their needs at times too... I decided to have a bowl of Garbanzo beans and curry sauce
and that was yummy...a little treat to keep my energy going until tomorrow morning...
Then washed the dishes - and I think I just want something to mark my time... but in truth it's been
a wonderful day... a gift...and now I think I'll look up - what holiday today is ...what national 'so and so' day this is...
Sending peace and good kharma out there...
Mark
Replies
Gentle empathy on the auditory hallucinations. Those are often mentioned in the theories that are applied to my still unexplained and random hearing losses. They are a trip. . . I still haven't been fully psychotheraputed out of the feeling that my auditory hallucinations are random receptions from other people's thoughts or something of the like. Mostly I let that mystery be but now that Corona rules have invalidated 40 odd years of psychotherapy, I find myself wondering if I should explore the possibilities anew. Maybe. . . We see what grows. For sure, it's a confusing new normal.
When I am home alone, I often use the TV for white noise. As one who has suffered periodic hearing losses for all of my 66 years, the term, "thunderous silence" has special meaning to me. The TV noise keeps me assured I can still hear.
Thanks Arfie!
Auditory stimulation...for me, when I do hear those sounds, I really look hard to see where it seems to be coming from. I no longer mention when I hear them, either, Thought I was the only one.
Here's to finding the balance.
I love antiques roadshow!
Wishing you peace with the auditory hallucinations. I’ve not dealt with them since hospitalizations but I have learned to make peace with sort of being an over thinker.... if that is relatable at all. Many things with overthinking and anxiety and dealing with isolation... staying healthy with it in these months. I hope journaling helps. I know it helps me.
Wishing you a peaceful rest of the week!
Thanks Mid, thanks Nikki!
Big hug Marky.... I don't regularly have auditory hallucinations' but I have had them and they weren't pleasant... I am so glad that you're figuring out the best coping mechanisms that you can sweetie and that you have a good rapport with your therapist
Have you thought of trying Blue on a harness and giving him some outdoor time with you??.... He may not walk well on it but you might be able to take him to a park or around your place for some outside stimulation.... Dan does that with Cozette.... He takes her out on the porch and she loves it.....xo
thanks Jan!!
Sun, I love that your landlords cat’s name is Cozette.
Mark I bought a harness for Bella but I just can’t get her to be comfortable with it - I’ll keep trying though when it gets warm outside again!