malibumark

it's the end of the day. I go to work in the morning. I didn't do much today, except go for a walk and take some photos.Wrote some emails to family and friends. I refrained from spending money...

it's the day after easter and i feel sad, lost and lonely. I saw my family yesterday - and now back on my own hereat the house I just feel rudderless and directionless and I kind of realize that I...

i have been feeling sadness today perhaps because of the holiday. I have tried to draw conclusions enough to write to you but i guess we have to be 'ok' with what's thrown our way in life. luckily...

I was sitting in front of the TV and feeling relaxed. I felt so relaxed eventually it was like I became a sinking ship.I eventually unraveled emotionally and just felt at the mercy of painful...

maybe the truth of what i struggle with is, which is hard to say though it's probably simple, that we need to acknowledge our feelingsnegative and positive and yet deal with others and the sometimes...

saw my dr. today. it's weird. he wants me to think about how things effect me, like validating my own feelings but it just seems so weird. like i kind of still have to go out in the world and...

I live such a monks life, solo so much - reflecting on this and living the austerity.Ah well...

I usually like to do some tasks here after the day. Right now - I just don't have much desire to do anything.I felt really sick at work this morning, mentally, and kept going. Things changed and I...

It's after work now. I have done the few chores I have. Ran down to the bank and so on.The idle times when I don't have something to do really are dangerous. Little thoughts - whims of...

I went to work today and felt really poorly about myself and my life. Like my life wasn't worth much. But thenas the day went along, I found myself feeling poorly but still doing the work.  I...

i have so felt an embarassment about my journals - about writing them over and over but I am realizing that this is what they are here for and I should feel no shame about getting my needs met....

I today I had some ideas about what I could be doing and what I was NOT doing.Yes, I was inspired to take the reigns of my life more today. Take some control - good inspiration.I started to build up...

I know I have my limits, and I kind of live on the outskirts - but I am seeing that I am still part of a team.Different teams. The team of my family. The team at work. And the team here at the board...

I have my struggles but I feel so lucky.I can help people, and I have a job and a nice room.A couple of very nice Dr.s too.My family has been amazing. My friends so giving.

I am recognizing that I have to reach out beyond my feelings to create theday that I am really wanting... I can drill down and try and block out all of the indecision, anxiousness or unknowing - but...