malibumark

I am seeing that though I have been systematizing my day's activities - creating routines and order - as a way to deal with time..I see I also now need to be creative with that challenge... So often...

I went to work this morning. Felt like overnight, while trying to sleep that my mind abused me.I went to work feeling dumb and wounded ...but I persisted. I am glad I did.  I got a lot of work...

just went for a walk, I am sick of the TV.I journeyed outside and just enjoyed the time out of doors.Part of me felt the intense sun as something to seek shelter from - likea cat might when touching...

I went for a walk today. It's a beautiful sunny day.Not really sure what else to do - but I am glad I did that.. that I tried to do something.Maybe I will look into some meetup.com stuff.There's a...

i don't know why, but i so repress myself sometimes and feel likeasserting my personal desires is a too bold of a thing to be acceptable.I am trying to get away from that... Somehow maybe I am too...

it's ocurred to me that I so try and systematize my experienceI have tried to understand my illness and have answers that for mehelp me cope, manage and then have positive experiences as well.I am...

When I spoke to my Dad last he encouraged me strongly to be more social.It kind of made me think that I have to be kind of artificial because naturally I like to be just one on one and intensely...

Sitting at the kitchen table witih my family, I suddenly realized, what I was hearingfrom the conversation is that we are all trying to figure out our lives. On an ongoing basis.It helped me feel...

Suddenly I am happy.I went to work today - and left when the work was done - rather exhausted and scattered more than usual.I ate lunch, and napped for a little while. Ate four cookies and thenhad a...

choose happy or choose positive - they are not always the same...keep going you can do it!

it's so curious. when I am not at work literally - i start to 'work on myself' -definitely need to channel that into something. :)I tend to systematize the mystery of stuff

my energies really need to be put somewhere. Right now I need to create something.It's like I am starting to be aware of the pattern within me - the force that wants things to be about me,the force...

i feel pretty good about things. I try and keep busy with my day and after struggling so much to find a sense of peace, I am realizing that just keeping busy, knocking at the door or chipping awayat...

I have a lot of energy that needs to be expressed...I am sitting here watching tv - and all things considered from whatI previously wrote about in my last journal, I think it's time for me to make...

I wish I knew how to traverse the secret or emerging yearnings in my mind and heart and the outside world.It seems I can be stable at times and that is happening more and more -  but then a moment...