dmcapp89

Jess asked me what I wanted in life. What my dreams and aspirations are. I replied honestly by saying "nothing". She tried to rephrase it by asking what I would do with my life lemons that were...

I can't tell if I'm pushing her away or if she is pushing me away.  I mean it's evident that she doesn't need me. I am beginning to wonder if she is only responding to me out of pity or something....

Slowly falling into this abyss. Is this all my life is supposed to be?  Am I meant to just be alive without a purpose or meaning. My only happiness is talking to her but it seems like I am pushing...

I feel myself falling back into my old dissociation and isolation like self. I feel like shit because I barely talk to her even though I am always thinking about her. i want to talk to her all the...

My relapse hasn't bothered me all that much. I guess I was just so relieved to findbout that she hadn't killed herself.  I was so scared that I had lost her that I did some pretty stupid things....

I have written this entry a thousand times before but she doesnt know that. If all goes according to plan this will be the last entry I ever write. She has chosen to take her own life and now I must...

Well today was a wasted day. I slept through most of it. With my depression back and being sick I guess it's understandable. Jess and Kayla decided to stay another night at their dad's place.I feel...

Well she made it through today :). I am so proud of her for handling it as well as she did. I haven't heard from her since around midnight but I think she might have gone to bed... I hope she went to...

In a relationship that is based on conflict, what happens when the dust settles? I mean we flort on the phone and talk about random stuff but honestly I don't know what to talk to her about.  Our...

They're back. I thought I had beaten them. Those feelings where I know no one really cares. People say they care about how you feel but the truth is it's always a means to an end. People always use...

It hurts.  I know I have started so many entries like that but it truly does hurt. Reading the the texts they were sending... I was just waiting for her to get back together with him. It's obvious...

Jess came back from SLC tonight. It's nice having her back. We made fun of people in the airport and on the way home she talked about the family she met. She complained about her dad a little saying...

She's pushing me away again. I don't know what to do. I want to text her but I'm afraid to. She's done this before and it kinda hurts. By kinda I mean it does... a lot.  I can't be anything to her...

The following is only based on assumptions. None of it can be confirmed nor denied at this point as the second party is currently asleepI don't want to pressure her at all and added titles would...

Hopes.Not sure what to write about there. I don't have much of it except for the hope that one day she can truly be happy again and for Jess and Kayla to succeed and not end up like me. Dreams.I...