dmcapp89

 I had that dream again. She and I were were hanging out just watching a movie and she pulls out one of my blades and she violently starts cutting her wrists until we are both drowning in blood....

I feel like I am adding pressure and possibly guilt. I don't want her to feel like she has to do anything right now. I love her yeah, but if I'm being too overbearing or something I want her to say...

Today has just been pissing me off. I was told I could leave at 2. We showed up at 10:15. No boxes were packed and he didn't have the truck. By noon 2 boxes were packed and he wanted to take a drive....

Well I'm pissed and triggered.  I just found out I have to help the guy who abused me move tomorrow.  I promised Jess I would help him move but I didn't think it would be on father's day.  I had...

Today was off to a rocky start. I found out Jess is cutting and Randa relapsed.  The two people I care about most had cut. I'm not disappointed, mad or anything like that.  It just hurts a fuckton....

Today was a mixture of good and bad. I talked to her which is awesome.  I love hearing her voice. I was smiling the whole time we were on the phone. She just seems to have that effect on me. She is...

Looks like I might be getting some money for my birthday. Shhhhhh don't tell anyone I already know what I'm getting. She said she could be Jessica's sister in law which I'm okay with. She's totally...

She sent me a picture of a ring. The only time girls have sent me that type of picture is when they are engaged,  going to be engaged, married, or to show me they can't have sex. I honestly didn't...

I realize I am a failure.  I wish I wasn't.  Her date is the 27th and I can't decide if I want mine to be the 14th or the 27th. I want to see her irl before her date but I am so damn broke I could...

I feel like shit at the moment.  I am terrible at comforting or helping people when I am not physically around them. Also I fell asleep like a total fucktard last night and it took her about an hour...

My grandpa said he might be getting a job in Mongolia.  He offered to bring me along as security for $300 a day. Which is cool I have been thinking about applying to a few pmc and security firms. I...

Something feels off with her. I dont know if I said something or didn't say something. I just am feeling a strange vibe. Maybe it's just my imagination but... I don't know. Maybe she just wants some...

Decent day I guess. Went running, saw a movie, played basketball,  and went for a walk. My headache was gone for most of it. Just kinda wanted to talk to her more. Something feels off between us and...

Today felt extremely weird. I have had a headache for the past week. It seemed to be getting better then all of a sudden it got really bad. I hardly talked to her today. She was going through some...

Going to court tomorrow to decide visitation rights. Not sure what will happen but my grandparents and I have custody of the kids for sure and that's all that matters. Mom failed all but one of her...