I feel myself falling back into my old dissociation and isolation like self. I feel like shit because I barely talk to her even though I am always thinking about her. i want to talk to her all the time but I don't want to bother her or juat keep saying the same dumb shit I always do. I mean I really love her but I guess I just can't find the right words to express it. It feels like I am a broken record. I always call her smart, funny gorgeous beautiful caring etc. But I am at a loss for an adjective that properly describes her and how I feel about her.