My relapse hasn't bothered me all that much. I guess I was just so relieved to findbout that she hadn't killed herself.  I was so scared that I had lost her that I did some pretty stupid things. Even sent that bastard Corey a message on Facebook because she always talked about how he was able to help her. I don't think I have ever been that scared in my life. I know I have never felt that helpless that's for sure. I'm doing better now that it's a couple days later but I still feel like shit because she blames herself for what I did. What I did, I did out of panic and I did it myself.  She didn't put the blade to my arm and make me cut. I guess I am lucky that, that blade was old and dull otherwise I wouldn't be writing this now. I don't blame her in any way shape or form. This is all on me no one else. 
On to less morbid and sad topics. Jess is taking an online summer course to get into algebra 1 for 8th grade which is cool. Kayla has this week off from camp so we get to chill quite a bit. I'm still sick but I'm not sure if I'm sick or if it's just my allergies but I guess apart from that one hiccup a couple nights ago everything is still good. She is still talking to me. I still love her more than anything in the world so while life may seem kinda stagnant once again it is a good stagnant.