MarahIdellCatLuvr
Status:
Mood:
Ok
- I'm not sure how to ask for help or support. I'm not sure what I need tonight but I've spent the whole day wishing death on myself and daydreaming of how to do it. I purged three times. I'm not okay. I don't want to do this anymore. I don't...
- My therapist has suggested that I talk to my parents about my brother. Why I don't talk to him and won't let him in my life. They know. We've just never talked about it.I wouldn't know where to start and I feel panicked just trying to think about...
- I'm not hyper vigilant. I'm not triggered. And I'm cooking my first Turkey. I also made stuffing, sweet potato mash and green beans. I'm following my meal plan and keeping stressors out of my life today. This has never happened before. I've always...
- I found out my body isn't producing progesterone, and that can worsen depression and anxiety. So, maybe I'll start feeling better once I start taking some. I've felt really overwhelmed and hopeless that I have been taking all these meds and doing so...
- This is me confessing. I've done better with food but held a lot of emotions in and out they came tonight. Really stressful day. Really bad episode of self harm. Disappointed and in pain.
- I was really angry all day for no reason. I did feel a little better after picking up my kiddo and eating dinner. anyone else ever feel this way?now I have a massive headache....
- I'm really depressed tonight. Purged a lot today. Took a diazepam. Lonely. Unmotivated. Tired. I also feel like I just got off the worlds most terrifying roller coaster. It wasn't a bad day but I didn't manage symptoms well. And I don't really have...
- I woke up irritable, did my morning thing, had my daughter go back to bed bc 5am is too early for her and then I read my scriptures which made me think of the glorified shelter I lived in for eleven months. I needed space, privacy and time to get...
- I had to speak with my therapist about my thoughts because they've been so frequent. He said they're a symptom of depression and if untreated they just get worse. I told my old therapist I needed something more for depression and we tried adding...
- Last night I felt that surreal feeling, like I can't believe I have a child.....if I didn't I'd kill myself and that's overwhelming, to be that depressed and overwhelmed and be a Mom. My poor kid. This morning a different side....I can't believe...
- Outpatient group today.....someone said their family believes rape is 100% preventable.That led to a discussion on what rape is and that was very triggering. Because I "should have known" what rape is after having been date raped at 19, but I didn't...
- Today would be my wedding anniversary. I guess it technically still is since we aren't divorced yet. I'm having a hard time. I tried going back to bed but my three year old wasn't having it lol. She's precious and sweet and is ready to paint...
- It's becoming real to me how traumatic my life has been. I talked to my therapist about some specific abuse I endured at my husbands hand for years. I said "I should have known better." He said his stomach hurt to hear me say that. I forget how...
- Between my cat, my neighbors and my three year old, I feel like I slept about eight minutes. Usually my meds knock me out but not last night. This is not going to be an easy day.
- I was very depressed and anxious today. Cried for almost two hours after taking a diazepam. Had very strong thoughts of suicide. I painted. I cleaned a bit. Watched kids movies. I just wanted to tell someone I had means and motive to kill myself...