Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) Support Group

Find support with others who have gone through a traumatic experience. Whether you have chronic or acute PTSD, we are here for you.

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MarahIdellCatLuvr
MarahIdellCatLuvr

Outpatient group today.....


someone said their family believes rape is 100% preventable.


That led to a discussion on what rape is and that was very triggering. Because I "should have known" what rape is after having been date raped at 19, but I didn't so I went on to experience intimate partner rape and then marital rape. I thought something was wrong with me. He said something was wrong with me. I didn't know how to deal with it well enough to even admit I wasn't doing anything wrong. I have always owned the mistakes of others - and I'm sick of it.


Today I'm flooded with emotions from that conversation....getting ready to zoom with my therapist and just not okay. Really needing someone to hold space for me but I couldn't get words out in group - too many people.  Thanks for reading.  

Thor2008
Thor2008
Rape is Rape and it is not preventable in all cases in IMHO. If you choose to not leave your room then your chance of getting rape is pretty low outside of a family member. In that thinking, it is preventable because you do go out and do anything so you take no risk. That is not reasonable. You have a live to live and with that is risk of everything from getting covid to auto accident to getting run over by a bus to rape.
Community LeaderLeo
Leo
Whoever said that needs to meet me. In a quiet place. WHere I will explain, quietly, rationally, just how wrong they are. I was raped at 17 by a classmate I'd known years. That's how I learned what rape was. And, no, it wasn't preventable, unless I could see the future, which nobody can. And victims get blamed, especially when the situation is within an established relationship.

So... Have a big space.... a hug of safety.... And I apologize if I upset you. I couldn't not be upset, I'm afraid.
Community Leadermujicaptsd
mujicaptsd
My family is like that person's family in support group you wrote about above: "someone said their family believes rape is 100% preventable." I was sexually assaulted twice when I was 10, but I when I was 12 and went to my Mom for help she said it was my fault. The facts didn't matter, they didn't need to know any details.
It just had to be that way for their sake. They kept to that position ever since. I'm 62 now, and the last time they spoke to me was 10 years ago when I was 52. On that occasion, even 42 years later, my mother said it again at every meal 3 days in a row.

I've come to believe her need for it to be my fault is about her, not me. My mother was always so reactive to the subject that I believe she may have been an untreated rape survivor herself. If that was true, then it was important for me not to become like her as a rape survivor, then. That's why I took my work seriously when I was called to be the first counselor a rape survivor met when they came to our ER at the hospital where I worked in Chicago. That first response makes a difference for the rest of a rape survivor's life. I should know.
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