mahalarose

So I flipped out last night..I was real low and thinking about trying to get the blade out of my shaver..then I took out my hair from the tye and looked at it. Got my garndmas sewing scissors and cut...

So I am in England..It hasn't turned out to be so good..I just feel so alone and I wana go home or run away so I can get better. I have slipped back so much during being in this country. I hate it at...

I used to have a piggy bank..I put all my spare coins in..i even exchanged my gold ones with Mom to get more coins..And I'd go to the baknk an purposley get out coins to go into my piggy bank..when...

I brought bandages today. The lady at the supermarket was giving me looks but I didn;t care. I've left them in my car though and I really needa cut. ITs like it overwhelms me. Todayhas gone from good...

so today I donated blood. I got there 30 mins too early oops buts thats okay cos' I had so many forms to fill out anyway. Um the lady sat me down on this chair and said she';d tell me when to look...

Well I woke up at 6 ready for my english exam..Didn't study cos' I don't know why. At 8 I tried to start my car, it wouldn't so I had to catch the bus. Somewhere between the bus and school I lost my...

Ight, I'm back..I don't wana go to school today. But Hannah txtd me last night and reminded me about the coke careers expo so I said yeah I'll go..and my mother, ugh, her words "You better go to...

so I think I have calmed down a bit now. Rents are home and everyhting is stil going wrong but It will be okay.

I can't do this anymore. I don't even knwo who I am anymore. I can't control what i do. This thing does inside me. I just made a video for Ryan saying how sorry I am and I started crying in it and I...

Hmmm, What shall I eat today. My stomach is telling me to eat but my mind is screaming no. So I feel kinda trapped inbetween them tryna sort out a fight or something. I wonder If I told Ryan about...

I think I want to die..My friend Sara left today. She is an exchange student from Germany and she was at schooll for a term..but today she left..well she flies out on thursday..but today all of us...

This is all getting way too hard. after gymnastics last night (around 9) I went for a drive in the dark..and ended up on this windy hill that looks over the whole of upper hutt. It was so pretty with...

I feel totally whacked out..like..I don't remeber half of my days now because im so asleep..its kinda like a permanent thing..um today I had a drink of fanta, two apples and some bread..Its not that...

I wish I was able to know what was going to happen before everyone else. I wish I could know when my dad would snap and the monster owuld take over. then I'd run away and come back when everything...

ight..I never felt so alone as now. Ive been strggling with my book for ages now and no one else can help me with it but I wish someone would tell me how to run my own life. and do it all forme and I...