mahalarose

I have had hardly any time to think lately! I worked thursday and had school, I then had school on friday and worked, I worked saturday and sunday 7-2 then came home and spent 6 hours on my...

As bad as I felt I am now breathing the freshest of air in this new enviroment I would adore to call home. I went to gymnastics for the first time in three weeks! man did my spilts hurt. And I ripped...

I was swinging on the swings in the park today before my self esteem meeting..Swinging has been a way of informally rearanging myself and giving me something fresh. I was swinging for aboutu 10...

I am going to loose weight.

So Rick thinks we are getting nowhere anymore. I know hes right but no one takes in intrest in me the way he does. I go cos hes someone who listens to the craziest of craziest things I have to say....

WHAT THE FUCK! I am not going to cry. I am not going to slip into the carpet and let it devour my aspirations and dreams and leave me paralyzed for the night. I will not think about the good times,...

Stuff is still the same. I lost it a few nights ago and got my vivid and wrote all this negative stuff over my beautiful positive mural on my wall..I scribbled out the eyes on the peoples faces..I...

I just want to be sick. I've waited too long though, I've just been sitting here like an obese whale. I gave bloodd yesterday and the lady askedme how much I weigh and I told her like I didn't have a...

I have a refridgerator in my head again. I'm thankful I can still write, and read. For once, I am thankful that I am still aalive. I haven't got mcuh enthusiasm though. I have to do my geograpy, I...

My body is struggling and I am struggling to not let it influence my mind. I'm quite worried. I have been eating quite well. for the past 4 days my pee has been really dark brown. Its embarassing but...

Rick worked out that I have been about 25 days free of glue..and woah has my mind and my whole being came right back to being human! I wish to say that the slimy stuff is repulsive and If I had it...

I slept at about 12 last night and woke at around 5..couldnt get back to sleep. I ws just laying there not scared. I slept with one light on last night! I went to the docs and the infection in my leg...

I've just seen Rick..and I made real progress. I feel so undescribably at peace withmyself. The sun is comeing through my window, I even removed the curtains so I could have the whole window...

So I played 4 games of polo all day. at least I didnt have to spend it at work. Mom and I fought on the way here and on the way home. I felt so weak at polo. And in between games all I could do was...

I feel like shit. I am alone. There is nobody here to look after me for once and why? because I fucking withdrew from everyone. no ones ever gunna want me anyway. I'll never be thin enough. my skin...