Ight, I'm back..I don't wana go to school today. But Hannah txtd me last night and reminded me about the coke careers expo so I said yeah I'll go..and my mother, ugh, her words "You better go to school if your planning to go to gymnastics tonight" which I guess is fair enough. Iunno, I try not to firhgt her but we always fight. Like last night. She came in thismorning to say bye and I didn't reply so she came up to my bed to see if I was asleep and I started screaming cos I didn't want her ANYWHERE near me. She walked off. I can't feel my limbs at the moment,I'm standing leaning against the table but I can't feel my legs, and my arms are just hanging there. They have got to the point where they hang out of my shoulder joint even if I just have them by my side. I can't feel my stomach, its like its not part of me and I am just my mind. I really just wana give it up. The word suicide popped into my head last night when I was inbetween sleep and awake, I hate that bit the most. Well I think I do but I don't want to think about it. I want to go driving. I mihgt go now actually.  With all the windows down doing 140k with no one else on the road..It feels like I'm flying.