mahalarose

The world is my oyster he said. "what do you want to do?". I didn't know where to start. I still don't. I know its bad, but Im not going out of the house today. I am watching useless tv prograsmme...

no more. Never agin. There will never be more glue enter my body. I filmed myself getting high. On abotu the third round I stope dthe video while high and started  a new one. I watch it now and am...

I should be able to fight this..I mean its easy..just a tube of glue. then why does it fucking run my life, my thoughts it runs my ehad. I just want to shut the refridgerator up. I want to forget all...

Caught between two places, one so easy it holds me there and then releases me but knows I will come back for more. Fighting with myself in hope all this ends and I will die soon. Actually, fighting...

I passed out yesterday and ended up with glue in one side of my head. I drove to Nick and he sat there for 2 hours getting it out. I don't know why  trust him so much..but he said that the next time...

It feels like I live only for glue. I just want to get out of everything all the time. Like this morning, it is 8.15 am I woke up at around 7.15 and I've already attempted to get high, cept all I got...

So um I havn't really had time to think about things..Tomorow I am definatley going to buy soem glue. I'll need it after my biology exam tomorow. I wish I could be someone else, like  a calmer more...

I am a fucking faliure. Can't do anything right. Can't even  get myself high tonight. maybe I am being paranoid but the lady at the shop where I buy my glue from didn't re stack the shelves so my...

So I'm off it now. for the last 20 minutes I've kept tellingmyself im off it now but im really of it now. I think I will hide my phone somewhere and the battery another place because I eneded up...

I know I shouldn;t let it make me happy..but I instantly felt releif when I saw that IVE LOST 4KGS! It feels so good to know that some of me has gone. Iunno why but it just does. Is topped what I was...

So I was sitting in a two hour assembly and then some loser guys sitting behind me were just being jers and when my friend went up for an award calling him a faggot then all the fat chicks getting...

I feel so completley low. This hunger is posioning me. yesterday was a bad day, I went to school but before I left home I got high off glue again. I somehow drove myself to school and walked around...

At like 7 Hannah txtd me and asked if Im going to the fireworks and I said nah..Cos I was already in bed and totally exhausted. at 8.30 I txtd Hannah and asked if she was okay and she said yeah...

Hannah and I went up town after school and went to the mall. I tried on a bikini top...its like I was transfixed to the full mirror..my hips are too big my stomach not flat enough my breasts too big....

Today is going to be good. Today is going to be good. Today is going to be good. Today has to be good. I have no hunger. I havn't eaten in two days. Today is going to be good with the exception of...