mahalarose

I am so completly low right now. I went into the supermarket after work because half of me told me I needed to binge. I came out of the shop with two ace bandages and a demon drink. I went to the...

I am so fucking disgusted with myself. I skipped breakfast skipped lunch as usual and tonight I avoided dinner till 8. Dad asked if im hungry and I said yeah so I got myself asparagus and carrots. my...

So um today I've had a peice of chocolate, spoon full of gross soup and 1 and a half rockstars. I know why I am restricting again and it makes me feel so good inside. today Ive been on a high all...

My fucking mother. Honestly. Everything has to be done under her control. she has to be concerned about EVERYTHING. it all started when this morning she asked if I would like to put my laptop in the...

So I flipped out last night..I was real low and thinking about trying to get the blade out of my shaver..then I took out my hair from the tye and looked at it. Got my garndmas sewing scissors and cut...

So I am in England..It hasn't turned out to be so good..I just feel so alone and I wana go home or run away so I can get better. I have slipped back so much during being in this country. I hate it at...

I used to have a piggy bank..I put all my spare coins in..i even exchanged my gold ones with Mom to get more coins..And I'd go to the baknk an purposley get out coins to go into my piggy bank..when...

I brought bandages today. The lady at the supermarket was giving me looks but I didn;t care. I've left them in my car though and I really needa cut. ITs like it overwhelms me. Todayhas gone from good...

so today I donated blood. I got there 30 mins too early oops buts thats okay cos' I had so many forms to fill out anyway. Um the lady sat me down on this chair and said she';d tell me when to look...

Well I woke up at 6 ready for my english exam..Didn't study cos' I don't know why. At 8 I tried to start my car, it wouldn't so I had to catch the bus. Somewhere between the bus and school I lost my...

Ight, I'm back..I don't wana go to school today. But Hannah txtd me last night and reminded me about the coke careers expo so I said yeah I'll go..and my mother, ugh, her words "You better go to...

so I think I have calmed down a bit now. Rents are home and everyhting is stil going wrong but It will be okay.

I can't do this anymore. I don't even knwo who I am anymore. I can't control what i do. This thing does inside me. I just made a video for Ryan saying how sorry I am and I started crying in it and I...

Hmmm, What shall I eat today. My stomach is telling me to eat but my mind is screaming no. So I feel kinda trapped inbetween them tryna sort out a fight or something. I wonder If I told Ryan about...

I think I want to die..My friend Sara left today. She is an exchange student from Germany and she was at schooll for a term..but today she left..well she flies out on thursday..but today all of us...