mahalarose

so what if I pull away from everyone? what does it fuckin matter. everyone is just doing it back to me. Ican do whatever the fuck I want. I want to chop off my hand. I want Satan to come and gobble...

I wish I could say goodbye life didnt need you anyway. didnt need God, letters or words. Didnt need a car, didnt need a job or have friends. AND I FUCKING DONT NEED ANY SLEEP SO THERES NOT POINT...

If things were so simple as having ice cream for breakfast like I am now..Its 6.28 am and I go to work soon until 2 and for then I should be fine.When I get home I am going to go to my room and...

Its 8.25..I went for a run an hour ago..I collapsed on the pavement after about half an hour..I totally hate myself for it. For it all. My fitness has gone to nil since I did this glue. I totally am...

Day one today has been pretty easy and simple so far cos ive been at work since 6..Its now 2.30 in the afternoon and I can feel myself loosing. I am the master of my own thoughts..I done something...

Day zero cos Ive had glue today..6.38pmgoing good.I am the master of my thoughts  Add: Is there any body out there?I can feel it gripping me tigther. But I am the master of my own thoughts. The...

I woke up at about 8.20..the first thing that entered my head was glue..fought it till about 10 and then went out and got some glue. Used that glue..then it was 2 in the afternoon sudenly..I had the...

a ctually does it matter if I put my head in a bag full of chemicals and enialate myself? im at this point again. where I need someone..but there is no one..well no one that doesnt have a block...

my day started by giving blood. That was fine. I layed there for an hour before getting up so I didnt faint. I drove to monster lady and she asked me questions and got me to sign a suicicde contract....

Oh my god what have I done to myself

So I saw Nick today..Gave him the letter..fell apart.He blackmailed me and said he tells my parents if I dont let myself get refered to Megan, a drugs and alcohol lady. So on wednesday I have to go...

I thought I better post here..I seem to have run out of words. Today I txtd Nick asking if I could come see him sometime and he said he's on a course in wellington so no..but tomorow I am going. I...

I don't know if I can still count the days..I had my head in a bag for 3 hours..It was torture waiting for Dad to go to work..he left at about 11 and I spent till then in bed..Instantly the releif I...

I am sitting outside work underneath this huge tree. I have 40 minutes until my next shift. This si the part of life that I don't like..when I have all this time to think about how much I have wasted...

Dying in this emptiness, being swallowed me and my fear. I am in the bag and the dementor is breathing me in to get high. To get power off my weakness. My mind fast becoming a hollow bloody mess....