hendo1

I am feeling shitty again tonight and it helps me to sort out my head by writing.He tells me this afternoon by text that she called him yesterday and asked if he would reconsider getting back...

I hate how this whole thing possesses my mind all day every day and all night every night.I know I would be better off without it.I know he has not changed and he will never change. I know that. I...

I really dont know what I am doing. I have spent time with him again even after the night before last when he was a prick I said i had had enough.Night before last he was feral about missing his kids...

Well today I am a little sad, a little indifferent.Met him at 5 yesterday to help him and our Skipper get the tender from our boat across to the harbour as it needed repair. So got on the ferry to...

I had a nice weekend away with mark. We played golf on Saturday afternoon, then drove to a nearby town and stayed in a heritage hotel for the night, having dinner at the local Chinese. Then yesterday...

Dinner last night went well. He picked me up in his car and it took all my courage to sit on the seat where I know he has had his slut. I want to scrub it with bleach before I sit on it.I had this...

So today I went to my therapist and she helped me with a lot of things. She agreed with me on one issue. Each time that I have mark pursuing me, I dont want to get back with him, but each time he is...

Crappy, crappy existence.Mark wants to come back. he is keen to move home and get on with things. He had time with her and said at the end of the day felt 'empty' and missed me and the kids.I am not...

I am feeling better. No tears. No anxiety. And that is simply because I think my soul thinks I am wanted again. Because he wants me back and has supposedly finished it with her. And that in itself is...

Well, after not calling all night, I finally get a call from him at 8.30 this morning leaving a message that said "I have wound it up with her now".I sort of went into denial. Big time. I did not...

So here I am at 8pm just as I thought it would be. He has not rung. His phone is turned off. I have left two messages to call me.He told me on Friday that he wanted to come home. Surely I am a...

I had a great night at the ball last night and felt so proud of myself when I was asked up on stage with 6 others to accept a gift and thanks for helping with the ball. Everyone cheered and...

This morning I woke up ok. The usual anxious thoughts about them together. But I tell myself to stop that as we are separated and I have to get used to that.I will not let myself believe that he will...

I had a really bad day after last night finding he had an airfare booked to take the slut over to Perth to meet his folks. I rang him and got him in the movies with her and told him I was incredibly...

I have managed to get through the day better than expected. I am trying to get focussed on getting some direction in my life and I have decided to go back to Physiotherapy I think. I am thinking of...