hendo1

Feeling ok, but still overwhelmed by Paul and his depression. Each time i call and try to talk about other stuff he manages to bring the conversation down. He is irrational and has let his fears take...

Am doing ok. The big change is that Paul seemingly has developed a depressive illness and he is not good at all, and I miss what he gave me each day, in the form of company, of chats, of phone sex...

Am puddling along again. Still the same issues with being a little lost. Rowing is going ok, but it is very hard to break into established  crews and our coach has paired me with a nice girl, but I...

Just a day where he is in the background. Telling me he is going to retire at 50 (2 years) which is a lie. That he has arthritic hands and cant operate.  That i should get a job not as a physio, but...

Having a rough day today. Mark has been on my back all day about financial settlement. He says he has things valued and now everything is valued less so i will have to take less cash...

In Perth with my family - sisters. Nice and good to see them. I have been away from here for a long time in my life with mark, so my sisters have interests a bit different to mine which makes it a...

I am doing ok.Bit confused from time to time about the direction i am heading and i think i have worked out why. I have Paul on one hand, who makes me feel completely loved and adored. I go to visit...

Arm slightly better, but still very sore. Had a bad day with it yesterday. Went out with the rowing coach in the tinny to watch the others train. It was a good experience and kept me in touch with...

Tasmania was ok, but Paul got sick and my nursemaid duties are not that generous - i dont know him well enough and it went on for days and days and i could not really see any outward signs of illness...

Of course most of those few horrible days last week were hormonal. I checked on the reactions to the pill and there is certainly a predominance of 'mood swings' in the side effects.I am a different...

Still pretty average.Lonely. Paul has gone home and I was wanting that but now i am lonely. The same things bother me about him.I am sad that i go to my boys sport game to watch and take someone...

So, been feeling odd the last day or so. It is only a few days before my period, so i am not sure that is not related. But lots of things.I have Paul here and I was looking forward to him coming,...

An eventful weekend. I went up to Townsville to pack up the last of my things and to make sure my daughter is packing up ready for her move on Thursday of next week as the house settles on Friday....

Well, he came back from being overseas for a month and  had not contacted me for that whole time.. I thought that may be it, but he came back and the day after he arrived home, he phoned me and told...

Tired from my early morning row again, 2 in a row and another one tomorrow. Had a sleep this afternoon. I am hoping i get used to it a bit more.  It is much harder than i had in Townsville, but then...