dsf95
Status: trying to be happy
Mood:
Ok
Offline
- not talking about hallucinations per se, but visions with a spiritual significance. Summer '14: I had a heat hallucination driving the rickshaw in 100 degree weather. I saw my coworker (we'd had a flirtation) in his valet outfit for his other job,...
- they went on one of their vacations. St. Augustine. But Dad had a heart attack. He might not make it. He's on machines. Heart's not beating on its own. Talk of artificial aorta, transplant at worst. He was helicoptered to a Mayo Clinic. Cant get...
- visited relatives, went out to dinner with the uncle who molested me. He is so old and weak now; can't even drive. He seems creepy but harmless now. I wish they'd just put him in assisted living. He does have an extra chromosome and lowered IQ and...
- two instructors from my old dance studio suddenly started taking lessons at my new dance group a few weeks ago. I danced with them a few times and didn't talk about the past at all. This past Saturday one of them is talking about the female dance...
- getting along with her better...she still says awful things sometimes. My aunt passed away and she said " well we weren't close anyway. She wasn't there for your dad emotionally" she still exhibits childish behaviors; forever stunted by childhood...
- I can't stop wondering about my parents past actions. My brother has lost touch with reality and I can't help but blame their "unique" take on parenting. He seemed to be recreating the hoarded conditions of our childhood in his apartment. The fumes...
- the objects of my affections, short lived obsessions. Each one taught me something. Rafe, Darren, Wes, Jack. Wes was the only reciprocal obsession. I've changed the names except for Wes. Jack, both my comforter and then the one who assaulted...
- went to an alumni gathering. A guy there looked familiar and I think he was someone I met at the dance studio last year, but I'm not sure. Neither of us brought it up if that was the case.kind of freaked out by it, and also saw someone I know takes...
- PTSD, or my version of it, was triggered last year by an assault. Started having nightmares again in March. My husband had to wake me up because I was moaning in my sleep a few nights ago; that hasn't happened for a while. If I was a veteran with...
- mom only calls to talk about her obsessions- my brother and her brothers. It's like being reminded of my incest trauma and my brother's physical bullying of me over and over again. It sounds like she is on the verge of stalking my three uncles,...
- i volunteer at a Catholic charity in a clothing room. We had a lunch meeting. I like talking to the other volunteers during work, but I started to feel scared during the meeting because everyone sounded so polished and with it and I'm not like that....
- Thanks for all the support during my assault trauma from August 2015. I have been obsessing on the assault itself and was blocking out memories from the dance studio from last spring and summer. I feel that I have moved on in a lot of ways. I had a...
- My life consists of weight and lymphedema management, biking to the grocery store (could never pass the road test), singing in the choir, and a mild social life. And being a mom, wife, and dog owner. I spent the last two years overreaching. I...
- Nightmare last week had the dance studio personified as a demon. I was at a deserted Macy's, the only customer. I looked at the beautiful clothes and gushed about how I was glad there was a Macy's. The demon was a petite old woman with deep furrowed...
- So, husband has a friend in a band who is dating a dance instructor. I'm feeling sucked into their on/ again off/ again relationship. They had broken up a few times, but now they just got back from a trip together. She keeps liking my statuses on...