I can't stop wondering about my parents past actions. My brother has lost touch with reality and I can't help but blame their "unique" take on parenting. He seemed to be recreating the hoarded conditions of our childhood in his apartment. The fumes from spoiled food made him even worse. My mother is "handling" the cleanup. I just can't handle being involved right now; I got him out of the apartment at least. 

It bothers me so much how they destroyed our childhood home. Our shower broke in the early '90s. Dad's solution? He bought a rubber nozzle that attached to the faucet as a "fix." Showers were extra low pressure in our filthy bathroom. No "outsiders" were allowed in our house; especially no repair men! Mom would strangely leave clothes on the tiny bathroom floor until they were rotted and hard. The tiles came off, but the new floor was a rotted petrified layer. The sink was always stopped up with gray water. They would yell at me for that, because I had long hair so it must be my fault.

but the bathroom was a special place for dad. He was always constipated and buying enemas. If he had to go, we all were forced to leave the house, no matter what. He made me go out with an eye infection. I had to wear sunglasses. 

They wouldn't let me go to the doctor either. I got a toe infection from borrowing mom's sandals once. She refused to take me to the ER and made me spend the night with a giant gray swollen toe in '97. The doctor told me it almost had to be amputated. 

But what I wonder about, is did they kill the dog and my rabbit? They let the family dog suffer with horrible mange for years. One day they went on a drive to the "humane society." I wasn't allowed to go. They also took my rabbit on a drive when I went to college. And don't forget my gerbils. I came back from Disneyworld with a friend only to find my gerbils had eaten each other and no one cared. 

They have never been held accountable for anything.