My life consists of weight and lymphedema management, biking to the grocery store (could never pass the road test), singing in the choir, and a mild social life. And being a mom, wife, and dog owner.

I spent the last two years overreaching. I believed that I could reach for the stars. I pursued unrealistic rickshaw and dance aspirations, which evaporated. I foolishly put myself in a position to be assaulted at the dance studio, driven by a hormone problem, guarana tea, a crush, and old feelings of trauma.

Years of dieting efforts to "look better" have led to breast atrophy, I tried on a dress last night and almost cried. My measurements are still about the same, and I will always have wide hip bones and a good waist, but I can see continued loss of curves in the upper body. Some dresses just fit differently. Right now, I am still a C cup, so it's not drastically noticeable, but my breasts shrink a little more and more after every period, so I will probably be pretty darn flat in a few months. It may even become something that's hard to hide. It seems like a giant change.

I kept biking in a heat wave and gave myself an eczema flare up. I had to have s steroid shot after my face swelled up; I think I also had an allergic reaction to some new herbal supplements. I keep doing reckless things and suffering the consequences. Just resting in bed a lot lately.