PaganSpirit
Status: "Scars are stories, history written on the body" Kathryn Harrison
Mood:
Ok
Offline
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just sitting here listening to some music feeling sorry for myself and trying to keep it together. Trying to keep it together is becoming a full time job these days. Looking around the messy house I...
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its happening again…..I can't explain it, I don't know where its coming from, I don't know why its happening but its happening again. Im feeling a buildup of negative energy and Im feeling angry...
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Well, Im still here…I managed to get through last night without self harming or offing myself. Don't really know how I did that. After writing my last journal entry I remember looking at the...
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Im so sad and yet so angry……its so frustrating. I wish I could cry but I can't allow myself to right now. The only thing I can think about is pain….the pain in my head…the pain in my...
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Left work early today. I just couldn't handle it anymore. I made sure it was cool with my co-workers and they didn't mind. One of them actually pulled me aside and asked what was going on. I feel I...
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I just hurt myself…It was unintentional but then again was it intentional? I was opening a frozen pizza and I had a knife in my hand to open the package when I felt this incredible urge to slam it...
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Home now…..I feel better when Im home, away from the outside world. I walk in the door and as always Edgar is there to greet me…I love that little monster. The world seems so hard to handle right...
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At the beginning of our session yesterday my therapist asked(as she always does)…."so, how are you doing?" I spent the next several minutes telling her how much Im struggling….how my moods are...
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Well, I was worried for nothing. Par for the coarse. Therapy went well today and I didn't get put into the hospital again. It was suggested that I go back into IOP to help get me out of this...
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Im so disgusted with myself. I haven't showered in a week, Im eating like shit again and I just don't seem to care about my physical or mental health. Im gaining weight again. If I hit 200lbs or...
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Its weird…I can't seem to say anything. I read posts that I want to comment on but can't seem to organize the thoughts in my head and transfer them into a meaningful response. I read my friends...
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Its getting harder and harder to put on the "happy" face for all the world to see. Im not a happy person these days. Im spiraling down. The new med doesn't seem like its going to help. My moods are...
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I cut today…….I feel a mix of relief and shame. I wasn't strong enough to resist. I was doing good for a while….about 6 or 7 months cut free and now this. I feel that it was inevitable. I...
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I just realized something this morning while I was lying awake trying to sleep with my mind running all over the place. Ive been trying so hard not to cut, one of the things thats been helping me...
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Im so disgusted with myself. All I can seem to do is think of the things Ive done wrong….all the negative stuff about me. I seem to do things that add stress to my life. I can't take the...
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