Well, I was worried for nothing. Par for the coarse. Therapy went well today and I didn't get put into the hospital again. It was suggested that I go back into IOP to help get me out of this downward spiral. This would be my third time in IOP. I explained to her that IOP or going into the hospital may help but it would also make things worse in some ways. She was understanding and said that we will just have to think of other, less harmful ways to help right now. I told her about my cutting recently and she expressed concern but didn't condemn me or make me feel bad for doing it. Im thankful for that. I think she's more understanding than I give her credit for. I held back about some of my suicidal thoughts though. I just couldn't go there. I don't have a plan and I truly don't feel suicidal Ive just had some thoughts about it lately. Mostly thinking about my previous attempts. Not sure where those thoughts are coming from. She helped me brainstorm some realistic ways I could help myself get out of this spiral and she also feels that a lot of what Im dealing with is chemical. She feels that a serious look at my meds is in order to help with that part of things. I see my pdoc next week and will discuss it with him. She gave me a printout on positive thinking exercises, something I definitely need to work on. Overall it was a good session and I left feeling more hopeful.