PaganSpirit
Status: "Scars are stories, history written on the body" Kathryn Harrison
Mood:
Ok
Offline
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Listening to some music and found myself thinking of a past love. I haven't thought about her in a long time. Maybe it was the songs that brought back the memories. They are mostly really good...
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I often wonder if on some level I don't want to feel good or maybe more accurately, I feel I don't deserve to feel good. Am I such a horrible person? Do I think Im a horrible person? I don't think...
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OK, so first of all the ECT screening went well. The doctor feels I will benefit from it and he answered my questions honestly. I am almost positive I will do it, but more on that later. Right now at...
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Leaving for my ECT screening in a few min. Very nervous for some reason. Oh well, time to go.
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As part of my IOP I have to have at least one family session. Meaning, I can choose which family member or members to bring but it will be me, them and my therapist. Its not during our group time....
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I get very strong urges sometimes to hurt myself and I can't explain it. I almost just stabbed myself with a knife because I got angry over something and I don't even know what it was……just a...
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To all my friends, I do apologize for being absent for a while now. Ever since I got out of the hospital its been hard for me to get back into real life. Its weird, the hospital helped in some ways...
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Today was my third day back to work and I don't know how Im going to handle a full week next week. I purposely went back on a Fri. so it would be a short 3 day week to help ease back into work but...
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Just got home from the hospital a couple hours ago. I only spent 10 days there but it feels like it was longer. The world seems strange to me somehow. As with my previous hospitalizations it will...
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It took a lot for me to do this but I called my parents to ask if they can take me to the ER tonight. For two days all I could think about was cutting and today I seriously started thinking of...
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What a crappy day. I knew it was going to be bad when I woke up thinking about cutting. I didn't go to IOP. Couldn't do it. I have no energy. Just laid on the couch all day with the TV on. Not...
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So pissed off……so frustrated. Im angry at my inability to calm myself down. I get so fucking frustrated with myself. When will this depression end? or at least let up a little bit. I feel so...
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Its a familiar feeling. I feel like its always been there. Sometimes its not so bad and other times it makes me so sad. Loneliness. Its ironic actually because I have a habit of isolating myself and...
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Not feeling very good today. I can't get my thoughts together to form anything worthwhile and its frustrating me. I think its partly due to being so tired from not sleeping well and "acting" all day...
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I adopted Edgar when he was just 2 months old. At the time I was in a deep depression and everything in my life just sucked and I thought that maybe having a pet would help me. Ive always been an...
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