CecilBGreen
Status: lots on my mind
Mood:
Ok
Offline
- Dad has been in the hospital for a week. He has had 2 surgeries, the last one was fairly minor. He had a pacemaker put in. He lives with my brother who is a screw up. I know that sounds like I am judging but he is. He abused me. He helped others...
- I posted on incest survivors board about the struggle I am having with obsessive thinking. I think I am in a full blown panic attack now and I am scared. My dad had to have emergency surgery for pericardial effusion but he is stable now.I have been...
- I have been having a really rough time the past few weeks. The past 2 days have been worse partly because my father is in the Cardiac ICU. he is stable now but it was and is stressful.My question is about being obsessed. I get obsessed with someone...
- I fought the urge to take a small handful of tramadol and drink a bottle of wine. Not suicidal...just want the fear, anger, and feeling of being overwhelmed (don't forget the self loathing) to stop. I know that the drugs and alcohol won't make it go...
- I wrote this before my mother died. I had forgotten about it but found it the other day while cleaning up some computer files.It is written in my mother's voice. I guess i have mommy issues as well as daddy issues.Just sharing I guess.I saw her...
- Warning...I am having a tizzy attack.I have been going through this god awful transference thing. I love my therapist. I hate him. I think he hates me. I am attracted to him. I think he has cooties. It is horrible. Did I already say that? I had a...
- The freakin' NERVE!!! Yes, I know that's why I go to him....lolHe has read what I have written about what happened to me but he wants me to be able to talk to him about it. I am so afraid of doing that. I am afraid of having the big ugly blubbering...
- Was a long night. My daughter was taken to the ED by the police for mental health. Diagnosis is PTSD. It was a hard night. She was scared but she was set up with follow up care and hopefully she can finally begin healing.
- Tomorrow is the 7th anniversary of my husbands death. I am sitting here crying. I haven't cried for him since the first year. I think I went numb. I have been stuck in anger and unanswered questions. Now I am just crying. It feels almost like a...
- Perry's Chocolate Peanut Butter Cup ice Cream. I am getting ready to dig in right this minute. My day was ok but my daughters car repair bill came up to 781 dollars. 381 dollars more than she was quoted. The work was needed so nothing can be done....
- I have had it since October 3rd. I use it every night and I feel so much better. I am using a full face mask because I don't breath through my nose well. That seems to be improving though. They gave me a Resumed Autoset S9 with humidifier. I no...
- I just wrote in my journal and mentioned something that I have never admitted to before but it is something I have done for years and i don't get it. I will pick at my lips. I will rub them until callouses form then pull the callouses off until my...
- I have been crazy busy at work for the past 2 or 3 months plus have worsening sleep apnea which left me exhausted and with muscle aches. Last week I managed to put my back out.I now have a CPAP machine so I am sleeping well. Body aches are gone and...
- I'm just venting I guess. I feel so stuck. I am so bitter and angry. I don't think I will ever be able to have a relationship. Partly because I don't want one and partly because i am afraid of one. I wonder why I bother with therapy...I mean...
- Is there anyway to inhibit my gag reflex? I have a very sensitive gag response and it is frustrating.