bluedragon41
Status: intensive outpatient; slow improvement.
Mood:
Ok
Offline
- Ok, I do not want to deprive my girlfriend of sex. We had not done it in a couple of weeks, and she asked me if I still found her attractive.Since I know VERY well what it's like to be refused sex, I went ahead and forced myself to go through with...
- ...Over the past week or so, Toby has been showing us what happened to him. The terror, despair, and urge to die...that was his. We were all feeling it in here....He tried to kill himself. He took us outside and tried to sleep in the snow. But...
- Fromhttp://liveabundantly.ca/the-fearful-avoidant-attachment-style/"The fearful-avoidant attachment style is characterized by a negative view of self and a negative view of others. Those who fall into this category view themselves as unworthy and...
- ...Last Sunday night, she kept accusing me of "Just being with her until something better comes along." This is because I can't offer her monogamous commitment, and I reminded her of this.I think I'm not naturally monogamous...and I think me...
- ...When I am processing bad feelings, it's not unusual for me to get a stabbing pain between my shoulderblades, just a hair to the right of my spine.Unlike the lumbar pain I get when I don't do yoga, which I know is due to squashed discs and bone...
- One of my inner kids showed me a memory, I keep getting flashes of it.Apparently my dad was a lot more violent with me at first. I know later on I went to him.This new memory makes it more likely that I allowed him access...as a way of appeasing...
- The Front no longer wishes to run things....I will be attempting a friendly takeover.I hope this will be successful, as I have not managed to assume motor skills prior to now....We will keep you posted.Thank you.
- http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SJUhlRoBL8MMorbidly funny...
- ...I appear to have an alter who's not *exactly* an alter....It's more like, my onboard attachment to a Goddess. Right before this current spate of nastiness began in earnest, I was half-awake, and...I felt drawn in to her arms.Like I was being...
- Miss Perfect thinks I need to not exist. She hates me. She doesn't totally believe that if I kill myself, she dies. She wants me dead. She's telling me I need to die, that I'm hopeless, worthless, disgusting.I'm fighting the urge to literally...
- Partly because I managed to not score my meds from the county, and partly because I'm sliding downhill...My car is croaking and going to get another car seems overwhelming...Actually turning my life around seems REALLY overwhelming, but I need to do...
- My best friend has, well, apparently decided to stop speaking to me for now....I was honest about how much his nearly offing himself upset me...Plus I told him he was goofing off, not doing the work he needed to get better.He's an abuse survivor...
- Ok...I found someone new...He appears to be my fighting instinct, my native energy.He's gone insane-I think he may have gone insane when I was 6 due to what was happening.He might explain all those voices screaming in my head at the time.So my...
- By a friend of mine, who I am learning a lot from....................................................................................................................Here's a thought.Just think about it, if you disagree, please tell me why I'm wrong....
- ...So......I want to put this here bluntly.I loved my dad.I didn't think about that for a long time because I couldn't remember that I had loved him and still survive.So that knowledge went away for a long time.But I LOVED my dad.And he used...