thanks for sharing...i can only offer some thoughts to consider:
My thinking would be along the lines...i'm not so sure you have cut off your survival energy. Indeed it was for survival purposes that he was created.
i would consider trying to open up a gentle dialogue with this newly discovered friend who helped you a long time ago and perhaps now seeks recognition. Does he deserve gratitude? Does he need a voice?
For me, all little parts are cut off (disconnected from)...including the inner child that likes to have fun and play (passionate about living).
My instinctual survival side (i call Gary) is still around...but the littles were created to contain painful experiences, so that the rest of me could still function.
im still not really functioning as an adult but i fake it.

maybe he's a part of you who is in so much pain he doesn't want to survive?

He's nuts...but, like hyper!
I just like, want to run, run, run!

Hope I'm not developing late-onset bipolar... 0.o
I dunno if this is permanent or not.

Damn, I gotta clean the house when I get home!

I had to submit, is my best guess, and he's the part of me that instinctively wanted to fight? He's a soldier, at any rate.

Mike is a pretty happy guy, though, just babbles. I was walking around the house saying "mikemikemikemikemike!"

I am not TIRED!
I have been tired for YEARS!!!
WHEE!

That sounds a bit like something I've been going through lately too. That evening I watched the vid again of Gretchen and got so triggered. When I went to bed a couple of hours later, I was lying there, don't know if was half asleep, and I felt my original me, like before all my trauma, and yes, little, but then came a voice that said "you should die". I felt like that was an old familiar thing, and that triggered something too, probably related. And the rest of the night was spooky, creepy, dark, and I felt like again. that me had to be snuffed, like it was so long ago. But the next day, there began something powerful. As you put it my native energy. RAWRR!!!

so yes, I think that's what I did.. my native energy and native energy would fight normally, except when it is for certain that it would end up a big loss. And then,, for survival, we play dead. We cut that native energy off, and a dissociated alter substitutes.

Now that we are back in touch,, like Sleeping Beauty, or Rip Van Winkle has awakened, how many years later.. that native energy needs to be developed as it would have been through the years,, we be late bloomers :))
It's not easy, or smooth, but..

WE'RE ALIVE!!!!

hate cleaning

...So do I, and I'm back to tired again.

Maybe tired again, but alive.

hey did you get your help you needed from community resources hope so ,, hang in there bmw

I'm bumping this up . I think you need to call on this, your native energy. Don't cut it off. Even though that introject is telling you to..

come on.. you can do it.

I have a violent alter that operates totally in blackout. I only know he's there is by what he's done and not until someone told me. There were at least two incidents there may be more that I don't know about.

The first one I know about was when I was in junior high and I was taking judo. We were doing a demonstration at the boys and girls club. Our instructor was a police officer. He was demonstrating a throw on me was the last thing I remember. The next day I was told that I put him in the hospital.

The other incident that I know about was in high school and I had put two of my classmates in the hospital. I was told that I was doing knee drops on their chests.

Scary

loum, I want to see and share about this, but please make another thread for it instead of hijacking this one,, ok? please,, just copy and paste the same post and put it on a new thread.