bluedragon41
Status: intensive outpatient; slow improvement.
Mood:
Ok
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- I wonder how common it is for those who are abused to find the gender of the person or persons who abused them triggery? I was r*ped by 2 different guys as a child, had a fourth neighborhood pedophile try to force me into his apartment at gunpoint,...
- My therapist says I'm not dysfunctional enough to have DID...But last night I was about to type the words "I don't have dissociative alters," and a voice in my head said "YES YOU DO!"But I don't lose time!The people in my head don't take over, but...
- Okay...my wife has been doing something that has chronically hurt me. She being aspie and I being dissociated...neither of us realized her negative comments (which she somehow construed as helpful!?!?!) were basically trashing my confidence. For...
- My wife can't criticize me.She can't tell me what I am doing wrong when I am doing some task that I am unfamiliar with. Because I don't hear "Hey, you are doing that wrong, let me tell you how to do it better."I hear "You're useless, you never...
- (pardon for this being so long...)I don't think so...I used to be a lot more dissociated...so I didn't realize every time my wife got shouty around me, I was having a panic attack. I would just feel guilty and spacy. Then go take a nap. Plus I...
- She says she believes I'm telling her she can never be annoyed with me...I told her that I need her to talk to me in a calm tone because I get freaked out when she yells. Like have a panic attack.They are just exhausting. Too, she'll often trigger...
- There appear to be other people in my head...But they don't drive the body.I described them as sort of "pushing up from under me." as if I was a heavy comforter they live under, and they sort of push through me, but I never quite go away. I get...
- When I was in my angry years, things were a lot easier.I wanted to see if this makes any sense to people... It's as if the abuse has shaped me so very much that I don't feel I can explain who I am, what I'm like, without explaining it? That it...
- a couple of years ago...I figured out I was, well, somewhat intersexed in the head? third gender? something like that.Today my therapist and I were talking about...parts of me that got split off. Not sure what they are, exactly, I don't disappear...
- Question...is it common to feel profoundly isolated?For me I think the source is how I felt when my mom would leave for work at night-leaving me with dad...And I've healed so I don't feel this horrid pain anymore, very often...what I used to feel...
- My dissociation rather spectacularly went bye on May first of this year. Now...it just seems like freaking EVERYTHING is a trigger!Yeesh, I can't happily ride in the passenger seat of a vehicle, I can't stand shouting...wife's a programmer, the...
- I'm getting back memories.My dad and I.I could only sleep in a bed with someone, I had horrible trouble sleeping on the nights mom was home...I feared to sleep alone because the nightmares would have me waking up screaming. At 8 my maternal...
- Guess I wanted to say where I am at on this?I'm technically female, but...feel intersexed between the ears. I identify as Androgyne.I think there may be testosterone gel on the agenda. I want to deepen my voice, embiggen my muscles, and if a...
- I feel a little lost on this one...TRIGGERS.I'm getting back memories of what my dad did...I knew he'd had sex with me from 6-8 through left-hand/right hand technique...although it was hard to believe what my left hand wrote for a long time.The more...
- Okay, I'm 38...And I have suddenly admitted to myself I want a baby.After trying to stuff the desire down for years, and accumulating cats.Finances are not great, situation's not great, my genes are not great...But I find the idea makes me absurdly...