Well I'm pissed and triggered.  I just found out I have to help the guy who abused me move tomorrow.  I promised Jess I would help him move but I didn't think it would be on father's day.  I had planned on hanging out with my grandpa because he was my father figure but I can't because I promised because it's what Jess wanted.  The guy  to be her father for 14 years. Jess is mad at me because I got passive aggressive when I found out. Now I'm afraid she is going to cut again. I told her one of the things he did to me. Then I said "whatever I guess I'll help" and left the room. Now I feel like a total dick. I want to cut so fucking bad and so fucking deep but what example would that set for her. I'm lost. If it wasn't for Jess and Her I would be dead right now. Jess is tellinf me to be selfish right now and not help tomorrow.  I can't break promises it hurts too much. She told me to stop being selfless and care about myself for once. I can't. .. I hate myself too much to do that.