Just got home from the hospital a couple hours ago. I only spent 10 days there but it feels like it was longer. The world seems strange to me somehow. As with my previous hospitalizations it will take a few days to get used to the world again. It was nice to be shut in away from the world for a little bit and just focus on getting better. Do I feel better? Yes, a little bit. I am not suicidal anymore but I still think about cutting. In order to get out I had to tell them I wasn't thinking about cutting, I wasn't suicidal and the depression is lifting but in reality I still feel depressed. Its not as bad as when I went in there which is good. I actually feel like I can handle things a bit better but I am worried I may slip back into major depression. I hope not. I find it funny how I get started on a new med and after only a short time the pdoc there expects me to tell him Im better when in reality I know it takes about 4 to 6 weeks before you know if a med is working. Whatever, I played the game and got out of there. It wasn't all a lie though, as I said I do feel better overall. Met some interesting people and even got hit on by some girl. That was weird. I noticed I got a lot of hugs here and some messages. Its nice to be missed. To everyone who reads this know that I am very grateful for your friendship and support. I will be getting back to everyone in due time just please be patient with me though. I am very tired and will only be on here today for a short time but I will respond to you all. It feels good to be out. Oh, one other thing, my pdoc in the hospital asked me if anyone has ever diagnosed me with borderline personality disorder. I said no and he had a nurse get me some info on it to see if I can relate to any of the symptoms. Based on what I read and what I know of myself I could relate to a lot of the symptoms of it. He never came right out and said anything but on my paperwork that I got when I left he wrote down under "diagnosis" bipolar and borderline personality disorder. Apparently I may have both. Not sure what to think about it but I will be running it past by regular pdoc to see what he thinks.