What a crappy day. I knew it was going to be bad when I woke up thinking about cutting. I didn't go to IOP. Couldn't do it. I have no energy. Just laid on the couch all day with the TV on. Not really watching it, just a distraction to all the negative thoughts going through my head. Don't know how Im going to make it to work tomorrow. Im surprised I got off the couch to type this. Ive been thinking about it for hours but just couldn't get up. Im so stuck right now. New med doesn't seem to be helping and I don't feel very confident IOP will help me this time. I can't take this much longer. So sad.
Replies
I\'m so sorry you had such a tough day, Pagan. Do you think it\'s time to start thinking about inpatient? Hugs & strength for you, my friend.
(((Hugs)))
I\'m glad to hear from you, Pagan, and I am sorry you are unsure about the benefits of iop. Have you clicked with any facilitators, doctors, participants? I understand you are in a painful place. Could you allow yourself to blow one day, and try again tomorrow? Difficult advice for myself, actually. I tend to roll all my mistakes, past and present, and project them forward, all while lashing out at myself. Sending you peaceful thoughts, and wishing you a better tomorrow.
I\'m sorry to hear you didn\'t feel up to iop. The thing I think about IOP is it can be different every day, so even if one day didn\'t seem to help, the next time something helpful might be right around the corner. I\'m sending you good thoughts that you can get to a less painful place soon. ((hugs))