So pissed off……so frustrated. Im angry at my inability to calm myself down. I get so fucking frustrated with myself. When will this depression end? or at least let up a little bit. I feel so helpless. I can't seem to help myself. The suicidal thoughts keep me on edge. I don't have a plan and I truly feel that I don't want to die but I can't stop thinking that I would be better off dead. I don't know anymore. Im tired, Im frustrated and I feel like giving up sometimes. I hate feeling that way but its so hard to just get by these days.

Replies

malibumark
malibumark

hi Pagan, I hope you don\'t mind me answering you on this. I know for one right now I don\'t feel so great - but I wanted to tell you that part of what I tell myself is that I\'ll never be perfect at it. I am sorry you feeling powerless to change your state of mind. I really know how that can make you feel - weak, hopeless and frustrated. I hope in 2015 we both learn some tools that can help us feel more power over that kind of issue that you\'re talking about. I am sending you my best wishes. - peace, Mark
joneszy93
joneszy93

I\'m so sorry, Pagan. I completely understand this feeling. You definitkey do deserve peace from your depression. Please do not give up, keep fighting Pagan. It will get better, it has to. I\'m pulling for you.
SensitiveHoboLady
SensitiveHoboLady

Pagan, I\'m sorry your depression is so painful right now. I have been in your situation in the past and it could certainly start up again with the way this dumb illness works....I don\'t know what I can say to help you. When I suffered my last depression, I tried to wake up in the morning and make a list of ideas of things to do, positive affirmations and journaling steps of progress. It felt good when I could cross things off my list that I could accomplish, or when I had a \'hey, good work\' moment it gave me a little hope. Keep fighting the good fight. ((hugs))
spacepony
spacepony

Inner pain makes me very angry and frustrated. I want to break things or hurt myself, but for some reason, I don\'t. I think I am very repressed--but I think I understand, and I\'m sending you hugs, my friend, and good thoughts for your iop.
MayB
MayB

So sorry you are going through this level of pain right now Pagan....Hang on friend depression screws with the clock so everything seems like forever...It also convinces you that it is stronger than you...it lies! I\'m pulling for you too! (((hugs)))