CecilBGreen

Woke up kinda sad again. Slept good during the night though, The night before last i had 3 or 4 panic attacks during the night. So last night I took my usual medications: Lamictal and Metoprolol but...

It is usually more than a moment but it is daily. I think I may be escaping it but then it turns up. I suppose it is ok to feel it. I guess I don't need to do anything about it. I feel kind of lonely...

It set in a few minutes ago. I feel rejected and lonely. Scared. Fearful of my future or lack thereof. I am worried about my health. Food is out of control. It has gotten so much worse. My childhood...

I have been struggling with semi erotic transference issues. Semi erotic because I can't have sexual fantasies about real life men I am attracted to so that stuff isn't happening but otherwise I am...

i want to stop going to therapy. i can't get past the transference. i wake up thinking about him. i want that feeling to go away. I don't like that I think about him as much as I do. I expected those...

.... I feel a bit better. Group was ok. It is pretty small and informal but it gives me some people to share with. I can talk openly without judgement with people who have similar issues.My therapist...

I will call it practice. Maybe a try out. The cord again. I didn't tie it, that is too dangerous. I just want to be sure I can do this should things get to that point. I believe it is a personal...

I hate just about everyone today. They are all assholes. Every last one. men are the most stupid. The have no souls. If there was such a thing as souls they would not have one. And they are stupid...

I keep thinking about dying. I don't see any other way out of the spiral I am in. I am angry with myself for being so afraid of doing it. I am thinking that hanging might be the way to go. No one...

I wish I knew the answer to that. I beat myself up for not getting out more. I tell myself I need to socialize more. I feel so lonely at times (tho I won't really admit this to tdoc) The fact that I...

I keep thinking of death. I have heard that "suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem". What if the problem isn't temporary? What if it has gone on for years and all attempts to fix it...

Between the Eating Disorder Support Group and seeing my regular tdoc i feel as if i am being torn apart. i guess I see this as being for the ultimate good but i am scared. Panic attacks at night....

It has been a long , rough day. I am much more affected by Robin Williams suicide that I thought I would be. I feel so awful for him. He had endured so much pain for so long. I imagine this was not...

 This place can be a refuge and a place of growth. It can be a place of acceptance and support. Other times it is a dark, damp, smelly basement where it is hard to breathe without choking on the...

......move past feeling invalidated. I have to better understand why he asked the question. The worst thing he could do is not believe me. There is no repairing that kind of damage. If asking me if...