CecilBGreen

I did the family thing tonight. Only a few of us there though. I guess we have drifted apart and families have broken off and gone in their own directions. My dad was there. Nieces and nephews, my...

Still feeling  sad. I have to give it a few weeks. Just stay calm for awhile.

I increased my dosage of Fetzima  from 20 mg to 40 mg today. It makes me feel like there is an electrical  wire running through me but sleepy at the same time. Everything seems far away. I feel...

Sadness comes over me in slow waves. The sky reminds me of February and February reminds me of despair. February is an emotional flashback. I feel deep, deep sadness and hopelessness. Isolation. I am...

Yesterday I realized I could kill myself with insulin. Why haven't I thought of that before??? When I realized how excited and hopeful I felt for a second or two I became really sad. I cried . I...

I tried to do the things I had promised myself I would do this weekend. I planned on doing some photography and get out of the apartment at least once every day. Even if just by myself to run a small...

On the way into work I saw a dead cat lying in the middle of the road. The wind was blowing its fur and snow was beginning to accumulate on it. It was really kind of sad. Then I realized that the cat...

I'm not ok

Hmm...he must be busy...hasn't responded to my phone call or email. The way things are it doesn't matter. I just need to keep working. Get through the day. Maybe call pdoc for more xanax.

Great. I finally checked the messages on my phone (new phone and I can't tell when one has been left...it doesn't alert me like the old one) and it was tdoc saying he made a scheduling error and has...

I made it through the day. I listened to music for about an hour at work (while I was writing notes). Emotions came in waves. Confusing emotions, Some sexual, some sad and at times both as well...

I woke up again. I wish I wouldn't . I wish I would just die in my sleep. It wouldn't be my choice then. I wouldn't have to decide. It would just happen. Every day my objective is to regulate my...

I have such a hard time sleeping these days. I was awake until 5:30 this morning and up at 9 AM. I accomplished 2...no 3 things yesterday. I cleaned the bathroom. I paid my bills. I showered (though...

I am still in that place where I feel like there is no point in living but I am afraid to die. In a perfect world I could sleep until my wounds healed. Sleep in a quiet, dark cloud. Warm and...

Another bad weekend so far. I am overeating and not getting anything done that I wanted to. I am feeling hopeless. I am reminding  myself that it is ok to feel what I am feeling and that things will...