bananna

i am glad they love me so much and want what's best for me. but do they actually KNOW what's best for me?? because if i left my man, i may be liberated, but i would be crushed, and i would miss him...

yesterday, in the depth of my self pity (regardless of whether or not i deem it to be justified, it is still self pity), i found myself feeling even worse when i intentionally distanced myself from...

ugh. shitty mood today. last night my cousin that went behind my back sent me a text. it wasn't a bad text, just something like "i'm drunk and feeling brave and wanted to tell you i love you and miss...

maybe it's pms. but i just can't stand it right now that he was gone for so long, that i had to threaten him to get him to tell me he was alive. that he alluded to having cheated. that he told me...

how can someone who loves me so much hate me so much? how can he say such cruel things to me and expect me to pretend nothing is wrong?we went on vacation, primitive camping, and it was wonderful and...

i used to work at home with him up until the beginning of this year, when i started working as a groomer again, and sometimes over 8 hours a day. i'm wondering if this gives him more room to wonder...

not just physically. not just angrily sleeping on the couch. his face has changed, and he has returned.things are not all better, but i swear i feel like i have just gotten home from a war. or back...

it just keeps getting turned back on me, and i can't take it anymore. he said it was my wound that makes me hurt him, and open his wound.i can't do this anymore. i can't even cry for him anymore. i...

my favorite dog at work was put to sleep today.my boyfriend misconstrued what i said when i told him that i was NOT pushing for diagnosis or medication, only to be able to learn what is going on with...

blew it again. "you need to be patient."i have been patient for the whole 5 days that my heart has been breaking. i have shields, and they often work well, but their batteries have run out. is this...

i used to think, i used to believe, that what a person has experienced in the past is something that one should decide to overcome. and that, in making that decision, not overcoming it means that the...

my mom seems supportive of my persistence in this relationship, but wants me to get the hell out. makes sense.i thought he might be dead or in jail half the day until i told him i would report him to...

...

so i let him scream in my face. i let him call me names. i let him say things to hurt me. and i just sat there. because i wasn't fighting back, i was just being there. he was obviously letting things...

i don't even take it to heart anymore when he calls me these things. i feel immune to it, just knowing that he is in a vulnerable state and wants to hurt me. i don't go numb, i just feel unaffected....