general update
my mom seems supportive of my persistence in this relationship, but wants me to get the hell out. makes sense.
i thought he might be dead or in jail half the day until i told him i would report him to the police as a missing person when 24 hours of no contact was up. he responded with the text STOP.
i left work early because i couldn't stop crying and trembling.
last night he texted me alluding to the possibility that he had fucked someone else. or, rather, he said what if i told that i...
i am trying to eat. nothing tastes good. the $15 tri tip roast i bought is probably going to spoil in the fridge, and i'd like to throw my stupid sandwich against the wall because it tastes like cardboard with salt. nevermind. i just fed the rest of it to the dogs.
i am working on a letter for his mother that explains that he isn't just very emotional, but that he has a mental illness, most likely bpd.
these dark chocolate covered powerberries are edible for the time being.
i don't know what to do for him. i miss him. it's monday night and i haven't seen him since saturday morning. he's not coming home tonight, i'm pretty sure.
i'm thinking i have no fight left. i promised him i would stay until he left me. if he says he's leaving this time i might have to let him go. my heart is just too broken to try and get him to stay. he'll have to decide to stay on his own. not that he hasn't.
i just want to hold him and smell him. he let me rub his feet friday night even though he was "sleeping" on the couch. he pretended to be asleep but his foot pushed back into my hand. he's a child in this state.
i thought he might be dead or in jail half the day until i told him i would report him to the police as a missing person when 24 hours of no contact was up. he responded with the text STOP.
i left work early because i couldn't stop crying and trembling.
last night he texted me alluding to the possibility that he had fucked someone else. or, rather, he said what if i told that i...
i am trying to eat. nothing tastes good. the $15 tri tip roast i bought is probably going to spoil in the fridge, and i'd like to throw my stupid sandwich against the wall because it tastes like cardboard with salt. nevermind. i just fed the rest of it to the dogs.
i am working on a letter for his mother that explains that he isn't just very emotional, but that he has a mental illness, most likely bpd.
these dark chocolate covered powerberries are edible for the time being.
i don't know what to do for him. i miss him. it's monday night and i haven't seen him since saturday morning. he's not coming home tonight, i'm pretty sure.
i'm thinking i have no fight left. i promised him i would stay until he left me. if he says he's leaving this time i might have to let him go. my heart is just too broken to try and get him to stay. he'll have to decide to stay on his own. not that he hasn't.
i just want to hold him and smell him. he let me rub his feet friday night even though he was "sleeping" on the couch. he pretended to be asleep but his foot pushed back into my hand. he's a child in this state.
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