bananna

abuse: physical, and emotional. for years and years, decades, really, i believed that i had an easy childhoood. you know why? because my parents told me i did. my mom, i remember her saying "i may...

i want to journal but i don't feel much but blankness right now. letter upon letter from court-appointed attorneys for debts that i can never pay. depression and meds and work and school make...

caught myself brooding again. i don't know how man times i've done it today and NOT caught myself, but at least i noticed this time.

it's dawning on me that i am really, super-duper, abnormally stressed out. it's been building up, but i'm finally getting it. i mean, i'm finally listening to myself.if i want to not take life so...

what am i doing? am i doing the wrong thing or the right thing? is it wrong to be in love and not want to give it up? or is it right? is it wrong to want to go back to someone who has a problem...

i think i spend more time online than i want to, but it's mind-numbing at a time when i need it... still, everyone is on their phone all the time, taking pictures of EVERYTHING and telling everyone...

here's something that's bugging me. one of my cousins, who wants to have a big family one day, and is very kind-hearted, loving, and absorbed by modern technology (she's the kind checking in on her...

how do i get over what being with my bpd boyfriend has done to me? how do i stop  thinking that each new person i meet is going to suddenly flip out because i didn't fully validate their experience...

not today. not tomorrow. not for the next few days. i don't want to start bawling and spilling my guts. i want to stay strong and composed and keep my chin up, so please, please, don't say anything...

the mix between learning that the person i am currently singing with has announced that "we" have a booking agent in nyc that can set us up for gigs across the us this summer and the fact that my...

goals which could lead to the ultimate, or a situation that is equally as rewarding, if not more so.i just started harmonizing with someone who had a hit grunge pop band in the era in which i was...

my surroundings are not familiar. it's fucking cold all the time, which is exciting but painful, my amazing job opportunity turned out to be a joke and now i'm broke AGAIN, like always, my boyfriend...

the girl at the job i recently left was/is just as much a part of the disaster that i left behind. i thought that maybe she had the patience of a saint, or was just forced to bide her time until a...

we spent four days and three nights together in the mountains in a dingy little motel cabin. we had such a good time! no big fights, just one situation that was quickly diffused. i think of all the...

today she was screaming in the face of an old dog because he wouldn't stay still to have his head trimmed. when i came to help her she was grabbing him around his neck and shaking him. he made a...