family
i am glad they love me so much and want what's best for me. but do they actually KNOW what's best for me?? because if i left my man, i may be liberated, but i would be crushed, and i would miss him immensely. i've never loved anyone as much as i do him. that's enough for me to think it's worthwhile.
i was talking to my mom about my cousin's drunk text. she starts talking about how i need to let her back in. NO! i am not rekindling our relationship over a drunk text. what she did really, really hurt me, and a drunk text isn't going to cut it. my mom was talking about forgiveness. sure! but i am not ready to forgive her and let her back into my life. for what? so she can pull this shit again? i'm still in the same relationship i was in when she took the role of asshole, so is she suddenly going to change her mind? because how can i be close to someone who doesn't believe in my love?
whoa, that's an ironic statement i just made there.
why am i so mad at her that she texted me? i guess because a drunk text seems like cheating. i can't believe she had the audacity to tell my mother that she could "no longer approve of this relationship anymore." is that why she took steps to take control of MY LIFE and try and end MY RELATIONSHIP with MY BOYFRIEND?? what the fuck business is it of hers? especially after i lied for her while she was fucking the married horn player in my band, the lies which, had they come forth about this horn player at a crucial moment, would not have left ME a scapegoat. and she still hangs out with this guy and her boyfriend doesn't know this happened!!!!!!! what the hell does she know about relationships other than how to be a cuntrolling bitch?!
god i am so pissed at her!!!!!!!!! AAAUUUUUGGGGHHHHHHH!!!!!!!! and i am so pissed at my mom for telling me that i should forgive her!!!! I'M TIRED OF FORGIVING PEOPLE THAT DON'T GIVE A DAMN THAT I'VE FORGIVEN THEM! and only texting me when you're drunk is kind of like not giving a damn. she better have been really drunk.
this is the kind of angry that feels really good, because it is about things that are up to ME, and about what i feel to be best for me. this is the kind of anger that is strength, not frustration.
i was talking to my mom about my cousin's drunk text. she starts talking about how i need to let her back in. NO! i am not rekindling our relationship over a drunk text. what she did really, really hurt me, and a drunk text isn't going to cut it. my mom was talking about forgiveness. sure! but i am not ready to forgive her and let her back into my life. for what? so she can pull this shit again? i'm still in the same relationship i was in when she took the role of asshole, so is she suddenly going to change her mind? because how can i be close to someone who doesn't believe in my love?
whoa, that's an ironic statement i just made there.
why am i so mad at her that she texted me? i guess because a drunk text seems like cheating. i can't believe she had the audacity to tell my mother that she could "no longer approve of this relationship anymore." is that why she took steps to take control of MY LIFE and try and end MY RELATIONSHIP with MY BOYFRIEND?? what the fuck business is it of hers? especially after i lied for her while she was fucking the married horn player in my band, the lies which, had they come forth about this horn player at a crucial moment, would not have left ME a scapegoat. and she still hangs out with this guy and her boyfriend doesn't know this happened!!!!!!! what the hell does she know about relationships other than how to be a cuntrolling bitch?!
god i am so pissed at her!!!!!!!!! AAAUUUUUGGGGHHHHHHH!!!!!!!! and i am so pissed at my mom for telling me that i should forgive her!!!! I'M TIRED OF FORGIVING PEOPLE THAT DON'T GIVE A DAMN THAT I'VE FORGIVEN THEM! and only texting me when you're drunk is kind of like not giving a damn. she better have been really drunk.
this is the kind of angry that feels really good, because it is about things that are up to ME, and about what i feel to be best for me. this is the kind of anger that is strength, not frustration.
Replies
glad you are feeling a sense of control over you own life. yes, your cousin seems to have some issues of her own that she can\'t deal with, and compensates by trying to control others?? hang in there, you are doing good!
thanks! :)